Minka On the Rox

come a long way baby

2009-03-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

I had to post this . Today was my baby's first egg-jam - nursery rhymes. My heart just skipped a beat knowing that this can only mean my lil baby aint so lil anymore. And how proud I felt when he stood and sang "Mary had a liddle lamp" on top of his voice.

And his summer vacations will start soon. And this is where I start wondering if I should give up my job and stay home spending hot summer afternoons lounging around with him doing nothing in particular. Be still my beating heart !! This is just the start.

No words

2008-09-25T23:51:00.000-07:00

1999.Married. New Job.Friends. Challenges. Juggle work and home. Bored. Farewell.Tidel Park.Work Hard. Team. Laughter.Tears.Anger. Promotion. Merger.New faces.Boss.Manager.More power.Miscarriage.Discrimination.Fight Back.Kick Ass.Bag a project.Palo Alto.More teamwork.Laughter.Tears.Goodbyes.Pregnant.Maternity Leave.Bubbles.Another merger.Another boss.Promotions.Territory.End of project.Bored.Pulling Along.Offers.re-evaluation.introspection.Take the plunge.Fight back tears.No more words.

Tuesday is going to be very difficult.I feel like I am leaving my nine-year old baby in an orphanage.Yesterday we went out for a team lunch and we joked and ribbed as usual.Came back to office and we gathered in my office for a team meeting and farewell gifts. All the 15 of us were silent - deathly silent until one of them said " She's not dead you know. Just leaving us". And at least 4 of us burst into tears. So much for a dignified exit.

Rock on and on !

2008-09-24T23:10:00.001-07:00

Just for the record, I saw Rock On.

Farhan Akhtar is cool !

But Arjun Rampal is drool-icious !!! And smoking hot.

Awards and Plans

2008-09-19T03:52:00.000-07:00

ok, this is my first blog award. Thanks Art.

Pardon me while I do the happy jig !

BTW, I make her laugh. And bubbles said to me "amma, I laav you. You are punny". I must be !!!

And I now pass on this award to the people whose blogs I haunt.

The Mad Momma - Because she is frank, straight from the heart and I am in love with the brat and the bean ;-)

Itchy - Because I love the way she logically arranges her thoughts and I love the factual fiction and Tiny thoughts series. In fact I even wrote one in her comments section right on Itchy's blog

Kiran - She articulates Krish's pranks, witticisms and her own ups and downs with parenthood beautifully.

ok , speech done. I am truly kicked about this. Art, you have no idea how I sulked that I was never awarded. Yeah yeah , I am like that !

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Now for breaking news . I have finally quit the job I held for 9 years. I plan to take a break for 2 months and then decide what to do . At this point, I am thrilled that I will be spending the next 2 months at home and spending all my time with Bubbles. It's a well deserved break after 12 years of slogging my butt ( errr digits ) off !!! My butt still needs some working so hopefully I will do that in the following months.

Waiting for Banno

2008-09-16T01:11:00.000-07:00

Banno was supposed to come home on Friday . But thanks to Friday and Monday being declared holidays, she will come home only tomorrow.

In the meantime, I sold kutti yannai. He knew I was trying to lose him and had started acting up lately. The day they came to take him, his battery coughed out and he had to be pushed to get started. Sigh ! I hated to see him go and Bubbles said " don't want red car, wanted only gray car".

Meanwhile as I wait for Banno, I have started taking the MRTS to work. And I just realized all the fun I have missed sitting cooped in the confines of an AC car. And of course, the nostalgia of train rides in Mumbai ( I know some may think I am nuts for this very same reason ).

Nothing beats the thrill of the wind in your face and watching people go by. Buying roses from a lady with a baby slung on her back. Recognizing the teller from the bank and making her acquaintance. Giving up a seat to a pregnant woman and asking her when she's due. 20 minutes of zipping fresh air, fresh faces, sounds, laughter, introspection versus 45 minutes of mindless traffic, RJ's making trite conversation and the same old boring music. Not to mention actually walking and losing some calories. I must thank the dealer for delaying the new car !!! I may not need her after all.

Say Hello to Banno !

2008-09-16T01:02:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Kutti Yannai

Say Helllloooo to Banno

images from the Hyundai Website

Not by the hairs on my Chinny chin chin

2008-09-04T01:26:00.001-07:00

Bubbles( to amma ): Chubby Cheeks, ( eyeing chin critically ) Double Chin !!!

Time to hit the gym methinks

Bubbles : ( Eyeing the growth on the upper lip ) Nool podanum ( have to put thread )

Time to hit the parlour too , methinks.

Ode to the drivers

2008-09-02T01:14:00.000-07:00

Long years ago , I rode a Kinetic Honda. My days in college were spent zipping around in twos or threes around Pune ( yes, we didn't attend too many lectures !). Close friendships ( and potential husband ) were made on those wonderful drives .

So when it finally came down to buying a car , I was quite keen on mastering the art of driving a car. So I took the classes and got the license. And the car was bought. A driver, Raman was appointed to "assist and augment" my driving skills which he did by saying "madam, gear change pannanga.", " ippo brake podanga" while I seethed helplessly beside him. Then one day he took over the driving seat after telling my family that maybe madam was not quite upto it and promptly put a nice long scratch on the car in an encounter with an MTC bus. I rejoiced and promptly fired him.

And started driving myself around and my , what a blast I had ! I love the independence and the wind in my face , not so much the parking nightmares.

Then came the happy news that I was expecting. The family collectively plotted against me and reinstated Raman. I sheepishly accepted his services and spent 7 blissful months snoring in the backseat on the drives to/fro office , waking up only when Raman coughed politely at the destination. What bliss , except for the times I had to wait for him to turn up.

I have had a long line of drivers since then and seem to be jinxed . Read on :

1) Raman once decided the best way to negotiate Kotturpuram bridge is to follow the VIP motorcade for whom the roads had been cleared up. We were promptly stopped by the cops and questioned.

2) Vignesh once overtake an old man on a scooter , missing by a hair's width and smirked in the mirror. Only to have the old man take off after us onto Adyar bridge , force us to stop and manhandle Vignesh. Did I tell you Vignesh was training as a boxer in a local college ?!!!

3) Ezhumalai decided to leave the car running with me in it to check what the hullabaloo in the traffic jam was. And he was at least 15 seconds late in getting back when the traffic finally moved. Oh the ignominy of it !

4) Last but not least, Sekar , Raman's cohort, stopped in full traffic in front of Kapaleeshwarar Koil. Decided to jump out and assist me with opening the door. I step out and shut the door. He goes back to the driver door and finds that shut too. Car running , AC running and idiots locked out.And. Horns. Blaring. I have never been so frazzled. I got someone to open it with a ruler. Meanwhile , I asked Sekar to leave because I was almost volcanic and ready to erupt. He says he couldn't possibly because his slippers and lunch box are locked in !!

So now , I am a hands-on driver. And no plans to change.

Until yesterday that is .

I drove into a dead end and parked my car. And went in for a dental x-ray all the time hyperventilating on how I was going to get out. X-ray done and news of not needing a root canal did not gladden my heart coz I still had to reverse my car out. I decided that I had to somehow turn the car around and in doing so , caught myself in a tight spot - in between a wall and a parked kinetic. I thanked the good lord there weren't many spectators to witness the infamy of it all. But there was !! One man came out, opened his gate and helped me reverse the car and said the words "you should get a driver , madam" . Raman, Vignesh and Sekar's visage swam in a montage in front of my eyes.

Maybe I need to contact an astrologer to do some pariharam for driver-dosham.

Maybe Art is sticking pins in a voodoo doll for putting point 13 in my last post.

I am just saying.

oh the injustice

2008-08-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks MM for the great rant post that can balloon out of proportion when I think about it

1) Why is it ok for you to let your child run riot and glare at me for disciplining mine with firm words and a steely glare ?

2) How comes it's ok for you to be in ill-fitting clothes with half your boobs hanging out but not ok for me to gracefully accept I am not built for certain clothes ?

3) Why is it ok for you to allow your child to eat eggs outside the house but not ok for me to choose cooking eggs for him at home to ensure hygiene ?

4) How is it ok for you to say "you leave your child with your in-laws for 8 hours! " and shudder when your child is taken to the sand pit by an underage maid?

5) Why is it ok for your parents to expect you to look after them in their old age but not mine ?

6) Where's the justice in attributing the baby's mercurial temper to the mother but not the persistent focus that's obviously her one big trait ?

7) Why's it ok for you to waste company time on surfing the net but not OK for me to gobble my lunch, finish my assignments and run home on time ?

8) If you talked your husband into moving out of his parents house, why is it a crime for someone else to do the same ?

9) Why is it ok for you to wait for your driver to open the door while your car blocks the driveway but not ok for me to blare the horn in the meanwhile ?

10) Why is it ok for you to say that bringing up a child is no picnic but cringe when I say my kid is driving me up the wall ?

11) Why is ok for you to ask me why I never join the ILs-bashing ladies club but not OK for me to say I am not into these shallow sports ?

12) you can advise me on child rearing but I cannot advise you to drop being a sati savithri and go out and fend for yourself.

13) if you are going to ask me why I don't employ a driver, be prepared to answer if you've lost the use of your limbs.

Productivity

2008-08-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

So my team has 14 members. 4 are unmarried . Of the remaining 10 , 6 are knocked up and delivered/expecting between July and Nov this year. We all got off a highly stressful project in June , winding down since Feb.

Absolutely no doubt that stress busts productivity.

What a productive team , I say !Let some of it rub off on me .

Just remembered a song from "Come September" - multiplication , that's the game

Job security

2008-08-26T01:32:00.000-07:00

There's a guy after my job. He's qualified, efficient and what's more - the boss loves him. And boy , do they connect ? I feel like an unwanted limb when they are doing their thing. They agree on everything - junk food,TV watching, sports, car rides and I am left spluttering inane advice on nutrition, pitfalls of watching Mr Bean and Takeshi's castle and risks to life and limb. They have even bought matching bean bags to lounge around in.

The boss has even said " Amma, don't come. Kunju and appa playing". ( Mom, don't come. Baby and dad are playing )

How can I sabotage my hubby's plans of becoming a WOHD or even SAHD ?

Two become one

2008-08-21T02:46:00.000-07:00

How brilliant is this whacky gadget ?

And this must be Bubbles dream gadget. Why you ask ? Let's just say if he was asked to take two things to an island, it won't be his amma and appa. They'll come anyway !!

Go here for more whacky gadgets ! Some actually make a whole lot of sense.

Rest in peace

2008-08-19T23:50:00.000-07:00

As a teenager, I admired you. Your sense of purpose, focus and clarity of thought. Your single minded determination to do well and climb up the ladder inspired me when I was younger. You were my hero ( despite the fact that you were the grammar nazi ).I don't know when I started calling you by your first name. But thanks all the same. It made you a friend more than anything else. RIP chittappa.

In my last conversation with you , you said "main wapas aake karoonga. Where am I going to run away?". Little did you know.

Today, 5 days after you have left us , I look back upon all the good times with you and the lessons I have learnt from your life.

- thanks for all the ice creams at Matunga Gymkhana that you rewarded us with if we kept out of your hair while you played bridge.
- the New Year's eve drive around Marine Drive, the aquarium
- the expensive chocolates you reserved for my sis and me. We loved them.
- introducing us to frankies and kachchi dabeli
- showing a 8-year old your Rolex
- correcting diction, grammar, pronunciation and punctuation ( are we done yet ?)
- bringing back those lovely clothes from Mothercare ( I wish I had kept some )
- Crates of alphonso mangoes at our disposal
- Last but not least, I have learnt that we must live in the now. Success and fame are not the only yardsticks of life. Health and happiness are more important.

PS - note how every second memory of you is inspired by food !!! That has to change.

Rough weekend

2008-08-19T23:31:00.000-07:00

Bubbles : Amma, push the train . Make it faster, faster.

Bubbles : Amma, push the rocks. make it tumbling down the hill.

Clearly , I am superwoman.

Me: Bubbles, we won't be going to Kabini. We have to go to Bangalore. I am sorry.

Bubbles: Don't cry , baby. We go affer some time. It's ok.

Clearly , he is superest baby.

We had a rough weekend but Bubbles was an angel. This post is to remind me of how bubbles adjusted to change in plans and took everything in his stride. He gave me the space I needed to grieve over a death in the family. Off late, I have grudged the fact that I haven't been able to spend as much time with my parents and family in general when I visit them , thanks to being occupied with his needs . But for this once, he seemed to understand that I needed the space and allowed his father to take over for 2 whole days without a whimper ( knowing him , this is a big deal ). Thanks baby !

Survey Schmurvey

2008-08-12T22:03:00.000-07:00

A survey said Women who married less attractive partners , were more satisfied and content.And men who married homely women were less satisfied and content.

That would make me dissatisfied and my husband simply over the moon.

Something doesn't add up! Someone do the math.

An irreverent mind

2008-08-06T01:13:00.000-07:00

.. I have, so God save me !!

MIL's SIL ( MS) : These idlis are hard. My idlis are really soft

MIL (M ) ( bristling) : It must be the new urad I used

MS : Mine are always SOFT no matter what brand I use

DIL eyes her husband and asks irreverently "What do you think of my idlis ?"

Husband turns beet red . But the conversation continues.

MS: Batter must be old. When it's old, it becomes hard.

DIL : Oh ! I thought it sags when it's old

M : We've never had this hard idlis before. Hain na, Beta ?

MS : But mine are always soft

By now ,I have a post in my head and husband Idlis on his mind !!!

G is for ........

2008-08-06T01:06:00.001-07:00

Jeeero !!!

Thus spake Bubbles ..... or Laloo !!!

Doesn't Bubbles at 8 mos look like Laloo and now speaks like him too ?

Shake it Baby

2008-07-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

R : Wow ! Cool phone. Which model ?

Me : Oh ! Hrithik Roshan . Shake it baby !!!

R ( with Steely glare): I mean what is the model number.

Me: I don't know. It's the ad in which Hrithik dances.

R : (throwing up hands in air) Bah !

A little later , R and another colleague are waiting for me in my office cabin. We are supposed to discuss project allocations. R was holding a copy of Cinema Plus .As I enter the room,

Me: Hi R, Hi V

R: (Breaking off from his conversation with V) So who do you think is the best ?

Me:(eyeing the Cinema Plus) Hrithik if you ask me and hmmm Brad Pitt maybe.

V ( spluttering): We cannot hire Hrithik or Brad Pitt for this project.

Me: Oh ! ah !

I have to find a cure for foot-in-mouthitis.

PS- I need a job where I can have more female colleagues. There is only so much of Aishwayra or Angelina Jolie I can bear to hear.

Bittersweet memories

2008-07-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

For years , I resented you. You gave me claustrophobia of the worst kind. I cringed at your conservativeness and who appointed you the moral police ? Your cloying sense of spirituality and superiority made me want to rebel. But I accepted and tried to fit in. And I know it's almost time to say goodbye.

And then I remember the good times.

Admiring the rustling silks and handicrafts at Rasi. Keerai vadai and poli at Karpagambal mess. The mandatory silver bowl and spoon from Sukra for the newborn. Diwali morning visits to rain drenched Kapaleeshwarar Koil. Watching in awe as the tank finally filled and feeding the catfish pori. Haggling with the vegetable and fruit vendors. Picking up cheap toys at Rs 5/- at the roadside. Buying bangles for the seemantham in Mada street. Waiting to watch the theru.

I am going to miss you Mylapore.

2008-06-30T00:13:00.000-07:00

Day 4 of school

Amma and Bubbles take the lift to the ground floor. As soon as the gates open, Bubbles is out like a shot trotting off to school

Amma : wait , baby . Hold amma's hand !

Bubbles :Kaiye vidda ( leave my hand ). I go mine self. You be there.

Amma : Baby , wait ! I ...oh .. want to ....

Bubbles : Bye amma, best of luck

Best of luck , indeed ! Yeah I am that needy clingy mother who insists on being the one to drop him at the school gate . Only .... he doesn't need me to .

Boys will be boys

2008-06-29T23:42:00.000-07:00

Bubbles learns life skills in the art of

Doing nothing

Being a couch potato

Shaving

Baking

Cooking

Living in denial

2008-06-25T01:01:00.000-07:00

Bubbles on day 3 of school :school starts at 9.20 AM

At 9:05 AM - amma, I wear uniform affer some time. Then we...... hmmm .......you go to school.

At 9:10 AM - amma, school is closed. Ebbybuddy go home. Bye tata. ( followed by flying kisses )

But the little trooper went whining just a little.

Jab we met Mommies and not Dora

2008-06-23T23:31:00.000-07:00

So we met . At Fruit Shop in Besant Nagar. I think I had the chance to have a conversation for exactly 10 minutes with the mommies and the rest was spent runnning after Bubbles who was in a tizzy ( I had Itchy for company - twice over !!!) . I had a wonderful time meeting Itchy, Tharini,Art, Kausalya and Crazymom.

Did Tharini say she's lost for words after reading all the comments on someone's post and hence doesn't comment ? I didn't get a chance to tell her how I cried in office when I read her post reminding herself to be patient with Winkie.

I really wanted to ask Kausalya what prompted her to quit working. Only if to settle battles in my head.

And Crazymom has a 4- year old and a 18 month old. And she looks like she's fresh out of college!!There should be a law against moms not looking like moms .

Art has enlightened me about the perils of not updating my blog often enough. Bubbles is going to think he wasn't interesting enough. Shudder ! I solemnly promise to update hereafter.Art, if we can work this, I am going to ask you to motivate me to lose weight also.

The ladies left their cameras,phones and purses lying invitingly in front of Bubbles. His hands were itching to wreak havoc but he caught my dagger-looks. And turned tables by wagging his finger at the ladies saying " PLEASE PUT YOUR TOYS AWAY". The cheek !!

Bubbles first day in school on June 23 . He woke up bright and early and said " Ojas, Tejas, Anushka, ebby-buddy come to school". He loved it too !!

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So we left Fruit Shop and headed to Citi Center to meet Dora. Against my better judgement !! Parking was full , so while Bubbles and I headed optimistically to meet Dora, K rode dizzy circles around to find parking. Meanwhile, I meandered through aisles of book shelves trying to get a glimpse of Bubbles no.1 "Hero". And he tried to clamber up the shelves and managed to dislodge a 100 copies of kamasutra-type tomes from their resting place. Oh well !!

After beating a sheepish retreat , I bumped into another harried mommy trying to get a glimpse of Dora for her daughters. Turns out to be Khushboo !!! Yes, the very same. She didn't get to meet Dora either. Right , so it doesn't matter if you have temples dedicated to you , you still cannot meet Dora if you are not destined to.

But seriously, I admired Khushboo as a mother for a whole lot of things ( I am not a fan of her movies or shows , haven't seen any ). She put up with the jostling at the Dora event and the long billing lines with amazing grace. No diva-like tantrums or wanting to be treated differently. Hats off to you , Khushboo !

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Day 2 in school . I just got a call from my MIL who picked bubbles up from school. He has broken a bench by jumping off it . His limbs and teeth are intact. Pardon me while I tear my hair out !

Bubbles turns three

2008-05-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

The Good

- He's a bundle of energy. No one can ignore his infectious energy. "Hi Everybody" is his favourite line
- He loves books . " Amma, palikalama(padikalama)" is the oft-heard refrain
- He loves to sing " theerada vilayattu pillai" on top of his voice !!! and beginning to get the fun in "Do-re-me"
- I am so proud that he speaks in tamil fluently most of the time. And I just love it when he says " amma, amma, nee enga irukkai". And "It's a secret. I love you "
- He really is a non-fussy eater but very rigid in his taste. He loves healthy foods - beans,idli,carrots,chapatis,milk) and just instinctively dislikes unhealthy ones (bread,cheese,biscuits ). I am the one who agonizes over his total lack of enthusiasm in trying new tastes .
- He doesn't insist on watching TV while eating anymore ( a habit I am to be blamed for since I just couldn't muster energy to run after him for his meals ). Instead , we read a book ( or at times, he will play with water on the dining table while I feed him . Oh well !!! )
- He loves puzzles, alphabets,shapes,colors,nursery rhymes
- he's 100 % potty trained. I thank my in-laws since they insisted on no diapers in the daytime since he was 1 and half years old.

The Bad

- the insistence for TV ( which we're slowly weaning him off ! ) . He's allowed 30 minutes of Dora in the evening and thankfully turns a blind eye when the ILs watch the evening soaps .
- the keen ear for bad language !!! ( i cannot curse in the confines of my car anymore knowing my words will come bite me in the butt later in the day )
- the separation anxiety still lives on. I leave my home for work every morning on cat quiet feet. He knows I go to office to work. But the sight of me leaving in my work clothes still upsets him. A few times, he's cried so much he's thrown up. So in the interest of his health ( and my bleeding heart !) , we've decided I leave incognito. Not perfect but will do for now !
- He absolutely hates coloring , crayons, painting. Yeah , you heard me right ! No Monet in the making , no Sir !

The Ugly

-the tantrums
-the inherited temper (from moi)
-the inability to concentrate for too long ( I agonize over this but am resisting evaluating yet since he just seems like a high energy child and I have had no problems teaching him anything other than coloring which he's genuinely not interested in right now .We'll see when he starts school in June)
-Not self feeding yet ( I guess part of the reason is lack of opportunity !! )

And now for myself !!!

Ooooh boy ! How am I doing as his mother ? Am I doing right by him and for him ?

The good -
-I make sure I spend time reading books, doing puzzles, stickers with him. I make sure his evenings are totally TV-free and spent talking to me about his day or generally goofing around. This also means we don't do elaborate meals or have a social life at all. Also means no time for exercise of any sort ( save chasing him around ) and I look more like the Goodyear blimp now than ever before!
-I have accepted ( hopefully gracefully enough ) that it's in my son's own interest to pick a little from every one in the family. I agonized earlier about the over-protective and over-religious influences of other family members alienating him from what I want for his upbringing. But I realize that finally , what matters is he's happy, safe and healthy. Everything else is secondary.

The bad -
- My temper and rigidity gets the better of me most times.
- I want a more cosmopolitan upbringing for him simply because it worked for me and I've seen the intolerance and rigidity that comes with being exposed to a single community, culture all the time. But my misgivings will be solved when he joins school and exposed to kids from all over the country and I don't have to fret over this , I hope !

The downright Ugly -
- The battles in my head if it would be better for him if I were not working. This one is never going to be resolved I think.

Am I nuts ?!

2008-05-07T23:58:00.000-07:00

will Bubbles enjoy at least his new big school ?

Will the bathrooms there be clean and will someone help him use it ?

Will R ( my friend who's trying to conceive for so long ) be bothered if I talk about Bubbles too much ?

Should I just not talk about Bubbles ?

Has Broom told her parents about TG ? ( I don't know coz she's gone private ) I hope they took it well

Why did that guy stare at me in City Center like that ? I am PMS-ing - I could have ripped him apart right there .

I really must call and meet Art this weekend .Can we meet Itchy too ?

Where's that damned remote control ? The AC is freezing .

( Thoughts that cross my mind at 3 AM !!!!!! )

Faces and memories

2008-02-27T21:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the day of faces and memories .

I was walking down the aisle in the supermarket looking for a particular brand of biscuit. I had to wait for a woman down on her knees , picking something from a lower shelf. And when she got up and apologized for taking so long, she looked up at me. There was fleeting recognition and then poof ! we went opposite ways and my mind was abuzz. It was such a familiar face but I couldn't place it. And it was not someone I knew very well yet familiar enough. Normally , I would just let it go. But it nagged me. I kept walking around the aisles. And then it struck me - she was someone I had seen almost everyday on the bus commute in Mumbai . Almost ten years ago !! We had never talked but the face remained familiar. So I went back and talked to her - turns out she's from Mumbai and did actually travel on that bus years ago. And her kid goes to the same playschool as mine ( her hubby drops the kid so I've never seen her ). Say hello to Swati then !!!

Finally , I bought the butter and headed to billing. Bill paid and I turned to see a kid being pushed in the cart by her mother. Again , I froze. Another familiar face. That cute smile and curls ! And I looked up at the mother and I was quite sure I didn't know her. Now what are the chances that I know the kid but not the parents - zilch unless I am a teacher. She got out of the cart and walked around. At some point, I smiled at her and she at me. And her mother called " Anush". And then it hit me - Anush and ArtNavy !! So I said hello to Art and Anush .

PS - I almost asked Art if they had decided about the second one. Then I realized it's a thin line between the blog and real world.

Mama, don't preach

2008-02-14T23:27:00.000-08:00

"Oh , I don't send my child to playschool. What is there to learn there ? Nursery rhymes ? What good is that ?"

2 minutes later

Toddler bopping to dard-e-disco , moves , lyrics , etc al and she says

"Yeah ! He's really sharp. Picks up all the LYRICS, MOVES and TUNES"

A few minutes later, Shriya shows up gyrating sexily in the Saravana Stores ad and Bubbles as usual , goes into a shy tizzy hiding his face in my clothes and peeking out at her. And once again,

"Oh! You shouldn't allow him to watch TV. He will definitely develop a sexist attitude".

And her son was thumbing through the latest issue of Vogue staring goggle eyed at near naked women peddling their wares .

By now , I am squirming in my seat.

Later, my son takes out his Bob Builder tiffin box and shares his Little Hearts with his friend. The boy practically latches onto the box and pleads "I want Spiderman box". Mom throws me dagger looks "I don't allow cartoon prints on anything. It makes them materialistic and slaves to advertising firms"

I rest my case. That was shortest dinner ever. Thankfully !

When Ka met Minka

2008-02-14T21:27:00.000-08:00

Just about everyone is done with their love story. Well, that just leaves me !! so let me bring it on.

I met K on the first day of college ( jeez ! what cheese !). He was in my class and sat on the first row in engg college. On the second day , we met on the way to college and I had butterflies in my tummy walking next to this tall, dark and handsome guy who didn't say much. Needless to say , I chickened out and took a ride with another of my girl classmates when she stopped to offer me a lift ( Leena, I could have killed you).The rest of the year went in a blur buried in studies and craziness.

Then, K , ever the sportsman, fell on football field and displaced his kneecap. And was admitted in hospital. I knew I wanted to go and see him. But something just held me back - I don't know if it was not wanting to admit my feelings or knowing that he liked someone else. But I went anyway, one in a gaggle of classmates, to go and see him. I went back later with a close friend of mine and played Florence Nightingale ( only I gave him orange juice on a acidic tummy and made him throw up). The friend stepped out and we were alone and the whole world just came to a standstill. It was weird - I had tons to tell him but it seemed like everytime we were alone, a silence would descend. Again, I fled ( ever the chicken !)

I think we both kind of accepted our feelings but decided not say anything about it yet. Which brings us to that fateful day in the third year when we went out in a gang to have coffee. All of us started talking about how next year we would all be engineers and go our separate ways. Each one of them was laying out plans on what to do with their lives. And K and I looked at each other, never saying a word. It was just crazy ! Suddenly , no one else existed. And someone asked me a question and caught me off guard. And I just stammered and spluttered.

K insisted I drop him to his house. And there in the parking lot, he said the magic words, " You know , I like you a lot too". Notice the "like" and the "too". Presumptuous , aren't we and we live in semi-denial as well. SO I said " me too " and zoomed off . And he went off to Mumbai for his Diwali vacation . And called me everyday from home and we spoke like never before.

When he came back to college, it was like floodgates had been opened. We talked and talked whenever we were alone. Yet, when all others were around, he would clam up almost as if he didn't want to admit his feelings to anyone. I know he wasn't one for public announcements and is a very private person. But it was killing me to not talk about it with my friends. And even more annoying when the classmate who he once liked, kept harping about the fact. At one point , someone asked him point blank if we were an item and he said no. He said no !!! I was hopping mad - he could have been diplomatic and said it's none of their business ( like I did !). But he said no !!!

I went home and cried till I made myself sick. I didn't go to college or even leave the house for 4 days straight. My mother was worried because she has never seen me this depressed. He came home with one of my friends and I basically cold shouldered him. My friend was cringing on seeing what a monster I had become but she had no choice just to go with the drama.

A few days went by - as far as I was concerned, I was done with hiding our relationship and was ready to throw in the towel. And then we had this Mr Personality contest in our college and I saw he'd enrolled for it. Here I am , my whole life falling apart and he wants to be Mr Personality. I decide not to attend that bloody contest and see how charming , witty and stud he can be !!! Halfway through that contest, when I realized all my friends had abandoned me and were in the hall cheering for him, I went in and sat sheepishly among my friends who just ignored the hellcat I had become. So when a question like "What are you most confident of?" was put forth, all the other studs, of course, were quoting appendages and brawn and he said " I am confident I will marry the girl I love although right now , she thinks I am the biggest jerk". Needless to say, he didn't win that contest - no prizes for cheesy lines !! But I was floored that such a private person could do that only to prove that he wasn't a jerk after all.

So that's my story. We're married - next month we complete 9 years of being married!!

I look like Jamie Lynn Spears !

2007-10-08T23:48:00.000-07:00

OOOh ! I look like Jamie Lynn Spears . Or Priyanka Chopra !!! I love this.

So I upload bubbles photo and guess what ! - he looks like Britney Spears !! Spooky eh ? There's some credence to that face recognition stuff .

And I upload some more and apparently the MIL looks like Mikhail Gorbachev and/or Hugh Hefner . I am liking this !

Then again , at some point, I look like Mohandas Gandhi . I wouldn't mind some of his gandhigiri !

Make babies not war !

2007-08-30T03:06:00.000-07:00

Yay ! Taking up Mad Momma's tag because this is so fun !!!!

Wear out toddler by day : Check

Toddler asleep at 8.30 : Check

Elders busy with saas-bahu serials : Check

Slip into something comfortable : Check

Stifle yawn and murmur something about being tired and sleepy:Check

Hubby dear follows suspiciously soon after : Check

Sneak into room and whoa ! What do you have ?

check ! Check !Check!

Nothing can be more risky and exciting than doing it with toddler asleep a few feet

away and adults watching TV just outside your door . And yeah ! the risk of your

nightclothes inside out in the morning ;-) Or possibly not creased at all ( who am

I kidding ?)

Farewell

2007-08-07T02:24:00.000-07:00

I can't go on anymore. I am in a mess . Is this what I waited for so long ?
I put aside my work , I took time off from my family and friends and just
devoted myself to you . Day and night . With nary a care for food or water.
My mother chided me saying I was childish and I told her off.
Everyone advised me to get away from you when I was pregnant saying you would affect the
unborn child with your diabolic thoughts. But I stuck with you because I was infatuated.
I saved every penny for you . Well-wishers rolled their eyes on my frivolity .
But I stuck with you .

And you do this to me. I don't know whether to go on or just stop and throw you out of my life. Are you going to die ? Are you going to finish what you started ? There's so much I want to ask but I just cant bear to go on. And I hate you for making me do the unbearable sin - of turning to the last page.

I turn on the lights and read "The scar hadn't burned for the last 19 years. All was well".
Bye Harry. Bye Neville and Snape.

PS - Bubbles has just got adjusted to a new playschool. I do hope they consider him for Hogwarts ! He'd be great at Quidditch with his love for the jhadoo.

Tie the knot ...........

2007-06-29T03:41:00.000-07:00

........around your neck that is !

I am just back from a few hours of shopping with my friend and her 5-year old son. Among other things , we discussed weddings and our own marriages . And we're doing fine , thank you very much .

And we spoke about some of our friends and acquaintances who've not yet tied the knot or are untying the knot. And I was not shocked or surprised. And she was offended that I chose not to react with symapthy ( or actually not react at all ) . I mean I am all for weddings and marriages , but if two people have decided that it's not working , what's there to sympathize about . I like nice endings but there is no endings is there ? It's an ongoing process .

Leks , Vim and D are gorgeous women - all have fantastic jobs and travel a lot . All are in their mid-thirties and unmarried. And I almost feel guilty going to meet their mums ( in fact , I haven't the last two times because it's excruciating ). They will gush " Oh ! look , you have a baby. And my daughter is not even married . What kind of friend are you ?" The kind that minds her own business and does not try and setup her friends because frankly, I really haven't found anyone worth their while. ( Oops, once I thought of setting up my boss with one of them - but he married a much younger woman - damn !). In my heart , I do hope they find the man of their dreams soon enough . But not because I feel their lives are incomplete . Because I truly want them to know what love is . To share their lives with someone they care about . And because I don't want their lives to be like this.

Dips is a smart girl - educated, social and amazingly entrepreneurial at such a young age. She was married at 24 to a software engineer in the US ( where else !) . Within a year, she had an abortion at the behest of her husband saying the timing was not good . And when her in-laws found out, they had the marriage annulled because they feared she wouldn't conceive ever again. So she returned and smart that she is , she went on with her business and work. But social pressures got the better of her and her parents found another alliance for her. They got married under the condition that neither was to ask about the past. I didn't like it - I would rather they put the cards on the table and take it from there. In a few months , she found not only was he schizophrenic. And gem that she is , she told him she'd stand by him if he agreed to go for counselling and treatments . He refused saying he was not sick. And then he was gay !! And she was shocked - while she hadn't expected a trouble-free marriage, this was the last thing. And she pleaded with her mother " Amma, I am here in a strange house with a complete stranger and I am not welcome. Please say it's ok if I am not married . Can I just come back home and be your daughter ?"

And that's why , I am not in favour of people getting married just because it's time to do so ? Or just because Jagada maami across the street quizzed your mom why you were still at home unmarried ? She might as well tie a knot around her daughter's head and hang her. Because this is certainly not what she wanted for the baby girl she gave birth to . Just because she wants acceptance from society and doesn't care what her child goes through.

Dips is happy , at home in her mom's safe arms and that's the way it should be .

Speak the fcuk up !!!

2007-06-22T00:28:00.001-07:00

What is it with women nowadays ? You have an education, you can go into space ,you can manage a team of 20 but but ....... you can't speak up against the damn eve teaser brushing against you . I witnessed the most annoying thing yesterday. Two women on a two-wheeler , obviously well educated and modern,are at a signal. Two more men , educated and modern bozzos for all appearances ,arrive on the scene. They laugh raucously and inch their bike inches away from the women. And one of them leans over and touches and I mean , touches one of the girls. She looks at him and cowers and leans away. And I am like WTF ?!!!

What is it , people , I ask ? What makes a woman take this kind of non-sense ? For what it's worth, I drove my car inches away from the bozzos bike and ran over his toes - yeah put me in jail if you like ( I am like that , I carry only pointed umbrellas in Mumbai locals , no foldable innocuous umbrellas for me , thank you ). And sent him scuttling away. But I see this reaction in women all the time.

Starting with my mum. My dad was in the Air Force and my mom decided we needed a stable life to get through out Std 10th and 12th - so mom and two of us sisters moved to Pune while dad was posted in Allahabad. Now my mom is educated , has an M.Sc in Mathematics and teaches in school. But she is also the most gullible and naive of all women I have met. So one day , one guy on the pretext of advertising a newspaper subscription came home and after the spiel , took our number and left. A few days later, we started getting crank calls with the usual heavy breathing and innuendo talk. My mom would jump at the sound of the phone ring and pick up the receiver and wouldn't let us pick any calls lest we hear the crap. But one day , she burst into tears and I knew something was wrong. So the next time the phone rang, I swatted her hand and took the call and heard the loser at the other end. And my mother weeped ," I don't want to be alone like this. Appa should be here". And my blood was boiling - "Why the hell can't we deal with this ?" and I was in the 11th std at that time. So I called what is now BSNL and asked them how we can deal with the crank call and if we can trace this call. The lady said no but I suggest you tell the perpretator next time he calls , that he's being traced. And I did just that . I said ," Keep talking , Mr Newspaper agency. I am having your call traced. Another 10 seconds , and I will have your number, you asshole". That's the last time we heard from him. Simple, no rocket science.

And I have hope when I see something like this. Walking down MG Road in Bangalore, bunch of loser college boys decided to brush against a couple of hip hipster clad women . But they were having none of it . One of the girls gave the brusher a nice one in the pants with her knee - yeah right there ! Ouch !!! The rest of the boys just stood there gaping like fish. Of course , it helped that other female shoppers of all sizes and shapes , aunties,munnis,pinkies,college girls showered the guy with handbags, umbrellas, sandals ( platforms , I must add !) and one project manager managed to kick him in the stomach for all the atrocities any man had ever done . For my mom, for the girls at the signal, for the BPO girl who was raped and killed , for heaven's sake - speak up !!!! Don't just stand there when you see something happening , do something , say something . For it is our modesty and sheer lack of guts that the losers count on.

Playschool begins

2007-06-12T22:11:00.000-07:00

Bubbles started on June 11. Bubble's papa and I took him to school and I drove the car since it would be me dropping him off and then going to office. He looked darn cute in his new red helicopter T-shirt and shorts and his "Cars" bag. Upon reaching the school , he bounded out of the car and went running in. We had to drag him back to get his shoes off as is the norm in the school. He looked a little suspicious of going into the playschool but they had set a nice lil slide in the courtyard and they had a fan and clock right there on the wall - yes, those three are his favorite things besides cars and wheels.

The door of the playschool closed and my baby was gone - into the depths of play , learning , socializing and whatever . I kept my eyes peeled every time the door opened slightly to take in a unwilling toddler or eject a fussy newcomer.But no sign of the imp. So finally I begged to be let in to see what he was doing. I couldn't find him anywhere on the ground floor where all the newcomers are bawling their lungs out in a closed room full of colorful, bright , hitherto ignored toys. My heart stopped beating for a second as I thought the worst. So I begged ( again !) to be let upstairs where the more settled toddlers were "moved up" . I peeped in , saw him sitting at a desk surrounded by some similar sized imps. Walked away knowing he was fine. And was called back the next instant - seems he saw me and that did it ! He started bawling - stupid me - now why would I rock the boat ?

Day two - enthusiastic drive to school, no parents allowed in ( the teacher told me yesterday one parent forced her way upstairs and made her baby upset . What an idiot ! How dumb could she be ?Yeah , tell me about it ... and I will wipe that grin off your face) . The ayah took him in to the learning room - closed room with AC. My baby howled , howled till he threw up. Poor baby ! Am I sending you too early to playschool ? But you seem to love going there nonetheless

Day 3 - I showed him the AC and fan in the playschool and he went in willingly. The last I saw he was bawling at the play-yard with the teacher and ayah trying to focus him on the slide , beach toys and other kids. My MIL is at the playschool to keep an eye on him and I drove to work - I do hope he settles. Later , she called me to say he was OK today - napped a little at school .

Here's to you , baby ! you seem to be settling better than some of the older kids .

Some points I want to make for mothers sending their babies to playschool first time :-

1) Get a bag , snack box and water bottle much before they start school and get them familiar with all of it.
2) Take them bag and all to the playschool ( when it's not functioning ) just to get them familiar with the routine minus all the chaos of thousand bawling babies.
3)Let them watch a Barney goes to school or one of those starting school CDs
4) Know your school routine and try to get your child familiar with story time, snack time etc.
5) Never ever barge into your child's class in the attempt to quell your fears . Ask the teacher to do it for you ( sheepish grin !)
6) Remember to let them handle your child - he needs to get familiar with strange surroundings and people. I had this bright idea that they should enter notes in my not-yet-speaking toddler's notepad about daily happenings . I had this brighter idea that they should blow bubbles in the play-yard . All kids like bubbles. But I have kept it to myself . After all , they are the one who've done this for much longer. But of course, it's not stopping me from telling them what to show my son to distract him or how to console him when he's upset.

Paradoxically yours

2007-06-08T02:45:00.001-07:00

I am a hypochondriac ( I love looking up medical stuff ) but I hate going to the doctor ( and hate their guts when they roll their eyes and say "internet ?! ")

I loved the convenience of formula and cerelac but am always looking for ways to sneak veggies and fruits into my son's diet (he hates fruits and that is so not-me !)

I believe in god but hate going to temples and places of worship unless someone leans heavily onto me

I am a rational person but let my friend read my palm and he predicted I would know true love and have problems with childbirth ( and how ! ) . I have lost touch with Jamshed but wherever you are , Amen ! He also said I have a tendency for insanity - scary ! and humbling !!!

I diss all ritualistic forms of religiosity but I did a prayer at Nandalala temple when I was dealing with infertility ( and I cried buckets !!!). And I said a prayer 52 times , daily from that day until the 4th month of my pregnancy.

I insisted on the doctor doing an IUI even though she wanted just one more Clomid cycle. She knew I was doing the prayers and she didn't want to interfere ! ( Now she is a paradox , isn't she ?)

I hate jewellery but my son runs around in ( hold your breath ) earrings, bangles,payals,necklace and did I mention a arnakayaru ( yeah , you guessed it - I live with the ILs ). And don't worry, not any more - he's two years old and starts playschool so on the pretext of security, he's rid of all that.

Bubbles starts school

2007-06-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

Bubbles starts playschool on Monday. I get a tight knot in my throat as I say this becasue I feel partly happy, partly sad. Happy because the apple of my eyes has come a long way and this is his stepping stone to his future. Sad because my baby is no longer a baby - he's a toddler. A few days ago , I left him at the sand pit with the other kids and said " I am going to go and sit by the pool". The imp waved to me said "Ta-ta" , gave me a flying kiss and returned to building castles in the sand. I don't think he's going to feel separation anxiety - I am totally another story.

He's got a bag, new clothes, straw sippy and I am going to buy him a snack box with cars on it. I am planning to add a notepad to his bag and ask his teacher to write a few words everyday. You see, he's not totally talking yet . So I don't want to feel left out from his playschool hours since he can't tell me about it YET . And how will they know his name -should I pin a ID card with his name on it ? And he's not fully potty trained - he'll poop only in the pot but he doesn't tell us when he needs to pee. Shall I tell the teacher he needs to be taken to the toilet once an hour or so ? How about snack time - will someone keep an eye on him ? What if he chokes on the biscuit ? Shall I break the biscuits into pieces ? or better yet - send it soaked in juice or milk ?

OK , I will stop now as I am displaying signs of paranoia .

Best of luck , Bubbles. I know you will love the kids , the games and the teachers . I hope you have a good first day at school.

Anjali's Prateeksha

2007-06-05T23:47:00.000-07:00

Anjali made it - she had a baby girl this morning at 3 AM . I have tears rolling down my cheeks as I write this. I am not going to try to phrase this right or do a spellcheck or check the grammar on this post coz I am just speaking my heart out.

She's been through treatments for 14 years . 10 IUIs and 2 IVFs later - she got pregnant. She's had a hard time throughout the pregnancy . Every time she bled a little, her heart, head everything was a mess . She thought the worst of it . But she made it . Heres' wishing her ( and her husband and family ) a happy happy life ahead with her baby miracle. I know she will make a good mother - patient and calm because of all the heartbreak and trouble she went through to become a mommy.

Anjali, I don't know you . You don't know me. I heard of you and about your struggles when I myself was going through all this . But I feel I know you because of the struggles that bind us . So here's wishing you a great life ahead and no looking back. Kudos to your bundle of joy - she's the most precious baby on earth today - for a family that waited 14 years, 10 IUI and 2 IVF for her . I don't know what you are going to call her but to me , she'll always be "Prateeksha" - a magic waiting to happen .

Anjali named her Anaya .

Perfect name for an answer to a zillion prayers of a family.

the o-ah

2007-06-04T22:34:00.000-07:00

This is my son on the o-ah ( bubblespeak for sofa ) .

he eats there
he plays there
he reads there
he brushes his teeth there

Now if someone can recommend a mommy gadget that can attach a potty and tub to the sofa, we're all set - everything we need in one piece of furniture. Man, is this one couch potato or what ?

Bubbles-speak !!

2007-06-03T23:45:00.000-07:00

Guess what they mean !

Imbo
Indoh
Laballa ( used to say Umbella --- regressing ... maybe !)
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar
Phaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
O-AH
Rodro
Moo-Moo
Lo-Lo
Thep
Thub ( now called Dabbah )
Theeeeee
Aaapti
Boop-f
Peam

Greased pig drives woman mad

2007-05-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

Oh baby when you whine like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

And I'm on tonight
You know my lips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection

I don't, don't really know what I'm doing

But you seem to have a plan
My will and self restraint
Have come to fail now, fail now
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know
That's a bit too hard to explain

( Apologies Shakira ! )
--------------------------------------

Bubble's papa , move over - there's a new boy in town and he's driving me crazy !! I get the greased pig in the bath and he wants the soap, oil and OMG , your shaving blade .Add to that my PMS and you have the perfect recipe for a tantrum - from Moi !!!

I am going to take an aspirin and lie down. Then again, I am headed to the office anyway !

Choices we make !

2007-05-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

I recently came to know about choices two women made in similar situations . And it got me thinking what I would do faced with the same .

Situation 1 -

The cozy couple have a baby . The mother quits her teaching job and is at home with the child until she's 8 months old. They manage to find a distant male relative who's a widower and keen to come to their big city and take care of their child for a decent salary. They are thrilled because this man is almost like family and is great with kids as is vouched by the mother who's seen him when she was a wee baby. All is fine - the mother goes back to work , they have a great routine with the relative taking care of the baby.

And then one day , as the relative was heating and pouring water for the child's bath , the child crawled over and upset the whole bucket . Imagine a whole bucket of scalding hot water - the child had burns all over and had to be dipped in penicillin to avoid infections . The relative was besides himself as he had done the unthinkable and thwarted the trust they had put on him. By the time the parents were contacted and came home , it was well past 4 PM ( these were the times where mobiles were not heard of ) . The mother was besides herself and aghast . She decided that had she been there , it wouldn't have happened . So she put her foot down and told her husband she wouldn't be going back to work ever. And he can just find some way to run the house on his salary. And that's that !!!

The relative lived on with them for a few more months but the guilt never wore off. And he left for the village. I wish he could see the baby now - she's the most beautiful woman I know - flawless ebony skin, shiny black hair and the best tinkling laugh I ever heard - My cousin Anu .

Situation 2 -

The cozy couple have a child. Mother stays at home on extended maternity leave . Meanwhile, they find a lady from the village who's been with their family since she was young. She spends time training the lady to look after the baby boy - feeds, bath, changing nappies , the works. When she seems reasonably trained , she goes back to work .Things are working smoothly.

Then one day , she gets a call from the neighbour saying the child was crying endlessly and since the maid didn't seem to be doing anything about it , the neighbour had barged in with the spare key she had and found the maid had dozed off while watching TV and the child all of 9 months was in the next room hungry, wet and miserable. And when she went to kitchen for milk , she found that the milk had been watered down by the maid after she helped herself to some .

So the mother gets home to find a content sleeping baby with the neighbour, fires the maid and stays at home. But their financial situation doesn't allow her the luxury of staying at home. Yes, they could get the next meal on the table. But not send their son to a good school etc etc. So she finds a creche ( expensive ) run by an anglo-Indian and goes with that. She puts aside her religious beliefs ( they are conservative no-meat brahmins ) and decides her son is better off not learning any prejudices of a typical brahmin upbringing. Her only regret is the drinking habit of the man of house where the creche was run. She's faced with naysaying of the highest order with her SIL accusing her of being a money-minded bitch with no concern for her child .As the child grew, she continued to work and her husband went to the gulf for a few years. And the child went to the best boarding school in the state when he was in sixth standard.Went on to do his engineering and MBA . And got married to the most gorgeous woman on earth - beautiful, talented, I could on - for she is Moi !!!

So what do you think ? What would you do faced by this situation ? Both are similar - although a baby burnt is far more serious than a wet , hungry baby. But then again , maybe not .

WWW Momming !!

2007-05-24T03:17:00.000-07:00

I am a compulsive search engine user. From work problem where I dig out improbable solutions to seemingly impossible technical issues to finding the meaning of words hitherto unknown to me ( i didn't know what bespoke,segue meant till a few minutes ago ). And for the past 2 years , since I am a mother , I am using the great WWW to find things about child rearing and milestones and the like. Now I have to admit that I have never handled a baby before my son and didn't know that it took so much effort ( seriously , I look at my mom with newfound respect because everyone who came to visit my son between 1 and 4 months said , " You were a terror as a baby - no sleep , no eat and always throwing up ". I am sooo glad they said "as a baby" coz I sometimes think I am one now too - terror that is , not baby ). And I work in a mostly male-dominated office so I don't have a support system of peers in office to discuss this with. Thankfully , I live with my in-laws and they are around to help in the most trying times when my child is sick and I am ready to throw in the towel.

So I turn to the web - Indiaparenting saw me through my pregnancy ( Thanks to Archie there who helped quell my fears on IUI, progestrone, dealing with alarming oligohydramnios diagnosis at 36 weeks and Hetal - who's an absolute gem typing advice from rashes to feeds inspite of having two kids - Neerja and Samarth ) , ammas.com ( for some relationship advice ) and of course, the trusted webmd.com for coughs, colds and other nits of toddlerhood. And all the mommy bloggers out there - MadMomma, Boo,Moppet's Mom - who're literally my lifeline in the absence of a social life and circle of mommy friends. Thanks to all of you women from the bottom of my heart !!!

And so it came as a rude shock one sunday morning as I was telling my MIL about my son's ongoing sore throat that I had read online that stomach acidity and throwing up can cause a sore throat which will subside over time as the stomach settles. To which there was cold silence followed by a vicious "Yeseterday in the paper, I read how one woman killed her father by advicing the heart surgeon how to do the operation ".At which point , I lost it and screamed at her saying "Oh ! so what you read in the paper - which YOU know how to read - is correct . But what I read in the internet - which I know how to use and which YOU don't know even know how to use - is NOT !"And then I went on to remind her of the time when she was rubbing boiled rice and ghee on my FIL's spreading boils till I looked up the internet , found herpes/pox diagnosis and fixed an appointment with the doc and ascertained herpes and probably saved his eye nerves from getting infected. OK , I will stop now as this is not meant to be a MIL rant post ( I promise that I will post one though !)

So what do other women do ? I am sure stay-at-home moms do their bit of internet searching, blogging and networking . But where do you draw the line on letting the WWW guide you versus some good old-fashioned elder's advice ?

And on June 7 , I add:

My Father-in-law asked me to look up side-effects of a drug he's been prescribed by the doc . I asked him if he told the doc he was taking blood-thinning medicines for BP. He said it's in the file so he should have seen it . So I asserted - "But did you actually tell him ? I don't think doctors actually read the papers carefully". Anyway , I look it up - and wonder of wonders , you do have to be careful taking this drug with BP meds .

And thanks , appa, for having faith in asking me to look it up . I am redeemed !!!!

TV Zombie !

2007-05-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

OK , I confess ! My son , all of two , does watch the television . Now wait , did I say commercial television ? Nah ! None of that (yet !) . But he needs to watch his precious VCD all the time specially during meals . Now I know that it's not a wholesome thing to do . But you know what, he eats well when he's watching Smart Cookie

Long time ago ( actually a few months ago when he 1 and half ) , he was fussing no end to eat stuff . I tried everything - made aloo parathas, gave him a spoon to eat himself , bought him some shiny new books , even let him handle some taboo toys . But he would have none of it . We would have to haul him up on the counter and let him play with the tap water and get in spoonfuls on the sly. And it was hell ! not to mention back breaking. And then I brought out the VCD - Ganesha . It worked wonders . He would sit on the floor at one place and actually let me feed him. He would wait with anticipation for meal times . Unlike earlier where all of us were rolling up sleeves ( including him !) for meal times .And he's learnt a lot from the smart cookie VCD as well. I've been doing itsy bitsy spider ever since he was 5 months old and it was good to see him do the hand movements on cue. But when the kids on the VCD did it, he totally got it and ran to identify every word he heard on the VCD - umbrealla, clock, bread. And I was thrilled because this meant it was not mindless viewing of cartoons or some TV serials that he watched with my in-laws. And I can safely say that the VCDs are here to stay.

And I'd like to know what all of you mothers out there think and do to melt meal time battles. And what you think of television watching ? I could look at statistics and expert opinions . But I want real opinions from real moms . And then I read this article

Crossing the Chasm

2007-05-23T04:15:00.001-07:00

I wonder

Where all that went

Sure we talk

Bills, schedules,laundry,dishes

But sweet nothings and just silences

I wonder where that went

Talk is cheap

And yet , we don’t call

And I wonder if marriage

Is all bout a weekend trip to the mall

Groceries, meals and nothing more

We don’t talk anymore

I mean talk , talk

Not snatches in between television soaps

Or newspaper sheets

Or typing emails

We used to just be

You and Me

Now it’s just a painful silence

A deep gorge , a chasm

Unfathomable, deep ,dark

And I wonder

If we will ever cross it

Or let the winds of time

Widen endlessly

Tornado warning in Pune - albeit late !

2007-05-22T23:54:00.000-07:00

Abstract

A 15-kg tornado is expected to pass through Pune between Apr 21 – 29. This is to warn all pune-ites ( and Mumbaites for an hour on Apr 21 ) to be prepared. Prevention is better than cure .

Itinerary

ETA around 5 PM on Apr 21 in Pune

Manifestations

4 AM –tight slap on Amma/Appa’s face ( whichever is not quick enuff ) followed by shrill shriek

6 AM – Jump off bed, land with thud and rush into kitchen like pants are on fire. Glass of milk is in order to douse the fire.

7 AM – Grape juice amid karate moves if necessary

8 AM – Breakfast Morning Show ( will buy you 45 minutes of peace )

9 AM - nap if needed. D doesn’t , we will

10 AM – Bath followed by dress up amid karate moves again

10.15 AM – drink water, elaborate prayers with panjapathram ( someone on standby with mop), eat a biscuit if he fancies

10.30 – 11.30 – climb sofa, whack all visible backsides with bat ( pls warn Indubai ) ,read/tear/eat books, bounce ball, pluck leaves, do jhadoo poncha

11.30 – 12.30 - Lunch show

1 PM – Milk followed by sleep ( hopefully )

3 PM – wake up and practice stunts/Tai Chi whatever he fancies

3.30 – 4 PM – Ragi – Evening show ( the same damn CD will begin to get on our nerves )

5 PM – Bath amid major crankiness ( doesn’t like to be taken out of water )

5.30 – 6.30 PM – Outside the house ( the most stressed out person gets to stay home and restore their tissues, ligaments and sanity)

7.30 PM – Park in front of TV for daily dose of spirituality ( Swamiyee Saranam Ayyappa on Vijay TV ) ( intermittent screeches when someone switches channels for cricket score. If you switch it back in 30 seconds, all’s fine. Else expect some heavy duty head banging on sofa handles or your leg )

8 PM – Dinner

8.30 – Brush teeth ( or have it brushed !!) , diaper up

9 PM – milk , water and sleep in that order

After this , all are free to watch TV if you still have the energy.

Precautions

1) Some magic words for all affected parties are – lo-lo, moo-moo, mixie, washing machine, grinder. Of course, you have to be ready to follow up the words with some action . You can’t just say lo-lo and not have a lorry to point. That will earn you a whack on the ear

2) Let go off your TV and newspaper fixation. Repeat after me “It’s not important to watch TV or read paper. It’s more important to preserve your sanity”

3) Get down on your knees and no ! don’t start dusting the cobwebs under the fridge.Look at things from D’s viewpoint. Any shiny nuts, bolts, wheels,china, will attract his attention.

4) Chain all furniture to the wall . It’s been known that this tornado drags chairs to balconies to throw out stuff .

5) Dustbins offer the most educative experience as far as D is concerned. And I am sure he’s right as we are wont to find out if the dustbin overfloweth .

6) Last but not least, anyone causing banging doors, creaking hinges, loud latches during his nap/sleep will be responsible for reinstating the state of sleep. I am tempted to extend this to neighbour’s pressure cooker going off and horn-happy teenagers whizzing around on mobike …but I think there may be a law against me pushing my weight too far.So I will limit it to near and dear family

7) People inclined to sorting confidential and important paperwork frequently ( you know who !) may do so at their own risk. Also papers lying loose on table have a 0.9 probability of finding their way on the floor with accompanying tune of “Bits of paper lying on the floor”.

8) If all else fails, take a dozen aspirin and lie down. You may still not be able to sleep with 15 kgs jumping on your stomach. But it’s the placebo effect – you have done your bit. Baaki bhagwan ke haath mein hai ! Inshallah !

I have forgotten to include pee and poop timings coz they are random and on a need basis. Cues to follow are sudden interest in his own bum and urgent tugging at Amma’s legs or the unmistakable aroma that precedes the onslaught

Breach of Privacy

2007-05-22T23:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you - but I hold my privacy dear and guard it with vicious posessiveness . So it comes as a whack in the face when someone betrays it. And move this to a wider circle like your credit card, your medical history and you have the perfect recipe for identity theft or am I being paranoid here ?

I am in a car with an acquaintance who happens to be a customer service person at a bank. So she's making calls and doing the humdrum I-am-super-busy-have-to-talk-while-I-Drive thing ( oh ! Did I mention she was driving ? Yeah , my life flashed before my eyes. Food for thought and another post ! ). She reels off credit card after credit card numbers and names to someone at the other end . So I think OK, maybe she's giving it to someone at her office to verify. And then she says " This is all I can give now . When you show me the money, I can do more". I just witnessed some poor guys information handed out to some over-zealous sales organization. She might as well have given his other information while she was at it .

And then again , there are those who will easily share their passwords with colleagues, friends and relatives. I know at least one person who shares his ATM PIN with his friends and colleagues and everyone and their uncle knows what his password anywhere would be ( it's not rocket science , this guy jumbles his birthdate around ).

The former , a breach of trust and privacy and the latter also is the same but it's self inflicted.

Testing the waters !!!!

2007-05-22T04:57:00.000-07:00

Here I am - my first post as a blogger . For what it's worth, I am doing this as a journal and hopefully , I can look back some day and reflect on my thoughts on various issues that cross my mind. It's surreal that we choose to share our thoughts with strangers on the World Wide Web behind the cloak of annonymity whereas we may never express some of our more controversial opinions ( mine are on religion, abortion, hindu customs and beliefs ,motherhood , modern choices, playschools,working moms ) beyond our own grey cells . So in a way , it's cathartic , a place to rant I guess ( and hopefully , save my near and dear the rants ) !!!

And it's also my journal into my life as a mom,wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, manager,team member etc.

And as I start my journey, I'd like to know what made some of you established bloggers get started. DOes it help you to vent ? Is it your journal? How do you handle sharing without giving up your privacy ?