Ode to the drivers

Long years ago , I rode a Kinetic Honda. My days in college were spent zipping around in twos or threes around Pune ( yes, we didn't attend too many lectures !). Close friendships ( and potential husband ) were made on those wonderful drives .

So when it finally came down to buying a car , I was quite keen on mastering the art of driving a car. So I took the classes and got the license. And the car was bought. A driver, Raman was appointed to "assist and augment" my driving skills which he did by saying "madam, gear change pannanga.", " ippo brake podanga" while I seethed helplessly beside him. Then one day he took over the driving seat after telling my family that maybe madam was not quite upto it and promptly put a nice long scratch on the car in an encounter with an MTC bus. I rejoiced and promptly fired him.

And started driving myself around and my , what a blast I had ! I love the independence and the wind in my face , not so much the parking nightmares.

Then came the happy news that I was expecting. The family collectively plotted against me and reinstated Raman. I sheepishly accepted his services and spent 7 blissful months snoring in the backseat on the drives to/fro office , waking up only when Raman coughed politely at the destination. What bliss , except for the times I had to wait for him to turn up.

I have had a long line of drivers since then and seem to be jinxed . Read on :

1) Raman once decided the best way to negotiate Kotturpuram bridge is to follow the VIP motorcade for whom the roads had been cleared up. We were promptly stopped by the cops and questioned.

2) Vignesh once overtake an old man on a scooter , missing by a hair's width and smirked in the mirror. Only to have the old man take off after us onto Adyar bridge , force us to stop and manhandle Vignesh. Did I tell you Vignesh was training as a boxer in a local college ?!!!

3) Ezhumalai decided to leave the car running with me in it to check what the hullabaloo in the traffic jam was. And he was at least 15 seconds late in getting back when the traffic finally moved. Oh the ignominy of it !

4) Last but not least, Sekar , Raman's cohort, stopped in full traffic in front of Kapaleeshwarar Koil. Decided to jump out and assist me with opening the door. I step out and shut the door. He goes back to the driver door and finds that shut too. Car running , AC running and idiots locked out.And. Horns. Blaring. I have never been so frazzled. I got someone to open it with a ruler. Meanwhile , I asked Sekar to leave because I was almost volcanic and ready to erupt. He says he couldn't possibly because his slippers and lunch box are locked in !!

So now , I am a hands-on driver. And no plans to change.

Until yesterday that is .

I drove into a dead end and parked my car. And went in for a dental x-ray all the time hyperventilating on how I was going to get out. X-ray done and news of not needing a root canal did not gladden my heart coz I still had to reverse my car out. I decided that I had to somehow turn the car around and in doing so , caught myself in a tight spot - in between a wall and a parked kinetic. I thanked the good lord there weren't many spectators to witness the infamy of it all. But there was !! One man came out, opened his gate and helped me reverse the car and said the words "you should get a driver , madam" . Raman, Vignesh and Sekar's visage swam in a montage in front of my eyes.

Maybe I need to contact an astrologer to do some pariharam for driver-dosham.

Maybe Art is sticking pins in a voodoo doll for putting point 13 in my last post.

I am just saying.