Monday, May 28, 2007
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body
And I'm on tonight
You know my lips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing
But you seem to have a plan
My will and self restraint
Have come to fail now, fail now
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know
That's a bit too hard to explain
( Apologies Shakira ! )
Bubble's papa , move over - there's a new boy in town and he's driving me crazy !! I get the greased pig in the bath and he wants the soap, oil and OMG , your shaving blade .Add to that my PMS and you have the perfect recipe for a tantrum - from Moi !!!
I am going to take an aspirin and lie down. Then again, I am headed to the office anyway !
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Situation 1 -
The cozy couple have a baby . The mother quits her teaching job and is at home with the child until she's 8 months old. They manage to find a distant male relative who's a widower and keen to come to their big city and take care of their child for a decent salary. They are thrilled because this man is almost like family and is great with kids as is vouched by the mother who's seen him when she was a wee baby. All is fine - the mother goes back to work , they have a great routine with the relative taking care of the baby.
And then one day , as the relative was heating and pouring water for the child's bath , the child crawled over and upset the whole bucket . Imagine a whole bucket of scalding hot water - the child had burns all over and had to be dipped in penicillin to avoid infections . The relative was besides himself as he had done the unthinkable and thwarted the trust they had put on him. By the time the parents were contacted and came home , it was well past 4 PM ( these were the times where mobiles were not heard of ) . The mother was besides herself and aghast . She decided that had she been there , it wouldn't have happened . So she put her foot down and told her husband she wouldn't be going back to work ever. And he can just find some way to run the house on his salary. And that's that !!!
The relative lived on with them for a few more months but the guilt never wore off. And he left for the village. I wish he could see the baby now - she's the most beautiful woman I know - flawless ebony skin, shiny black hair and the best tinkling laugh I ever heard - My cousin Anu .
Situation 2 -
The cozy couple have a child. Mother stays at home on extended maternity leave . Meanwhile, they find a lady from the village who's been with their family since she was young. She spends time training the lady to look after the baby boy - feeds, bath, changing nappies , the works. When she seems reasonably trained , she goes back to work .Things are working smoothly.
Then one day , she gets a call from the neighbour saying the child was crying endlessly and since the maid didn't seem to be doing anything about it , the neighbour had barged in with the spare key she had and found the maid had dozed off while watching TV and the child all of 9 months was in the next room hungry, wet and miserable. And when she went to kitchen for milk , she found that the milk had been watered down by the maid after she helped herself to some .
So the mother gets home to find a content sleeping baby with the neighbour, fires the maid and stays at home. But their financial situation doesn't allow her the luxury of staying at home. Yes, they could get the next meal on the table. But not send their son to a good school etc etc. So she finds a creche ( expensive ) run by an anglo-Indian and goes with that. She puts aside her religious beliefs ( they are conservative no-meat brahmins ) and decides her son is better off not learning any prejudices of a typical brahmin upbringing. Her only regret is the drinking habit of the man of house where the creche was run. She's faced with naysaying of the highest order with her SIL accusing her of being a money-minded bitch with no concern for her child .As the child grew, she continued to work and her husband went to the gulf for a few years. And the child went to the best boarding school in the state when he was in sixth standard.Went on to do his engineering and MBA . And got married to the most gorgeous woman on earth - beautiful, talented, I could on - for she is Moi !!!
So what do you think ? What would you do faced by this situation ? Both are similar - although a baby burnt is far more serious than a wet , hungry baby. But then again , maybe not .
So I turn to the web - Indiaparenting saw me through my pregnancy ( Thanks to Archie there who helped quell my fears on IUI, progestrone, dealing with alarming oligohydramnios diagnosis at 36 weeks and Hetal - who's an absolute gem typing advice from rashes to feeds inspite of having two kids - Neerja and Samarth ) , ammas.com ( for some relationship advice ) and of course, the trusted webmd.com for coughs, colds and other nits of toddlerhood. And all the mommy bloggers out there - MadMomma, Boo,Moppet's Mom - who're literally my lifeline in the absence of a social life and circle of mommy friends. Thanks to all of you women from the bottom of my heart !!!
And so it came as a rude shock one sunday morning as I was telling my MIL about my son's ongoing sore throat that I had read online that stomach acidity and throwing up can cause a sore throat which will subside over time as the stomach settles. To which there was cold silence followed by a vicious "Yeseterday in the paper, I read how one woman killed her father by advicing the heart surgeon how to do the operation ".At which point , I lost it and screamed at her saying "Oh ! so what you read in the paper - which YOU know how to read - is correct . But what I read in the internet - which I know how to use and which YOU don't know even know how to use - is NOT !"And then I went on to remind her of the time when she was rubbing boiled rice and ghee on my FIL's spreading boils till I looked up the internet , found herpes/pox diagnosis and fixed an appointment with the doc and ascertained herpes and probably saved his eye nerves from getting infected. OK , I will stop now as this is not meant to be a MIL rant post ( I promise that I will post one though !)
So what do other women do ? I am sure stay-at-home moms do their bit of internet searching, blogging and networking . But where do you draw the line on letting the WWW guide you versus some good old-fashioned elder's advice ?
And on June 7 , I add:
My Father-in-law asked me to look up side-effects of a drug he's been prescribed by the doc . I asked him if he told the doc he was taking blood-thinning medicines for BP. He said it's in the file so he should have seen it . So I asserted - "But did you actually tell him ? I don't think doctors actually read the papers carefully". Anyway , I look it up - and wonder of wonders , you do have to be careful taking this drug with BP meds .
And thanks , appa, for having faith in asking me to look it up . I am redeemed !!!!
Long time ago ( actually a few months ago when he 1 and half ) , he was fussing no end to eat stuff . I tried everything - made aloo parathas, gave him a spoon to eat himself , bought him some shiny new books , even let him handle some taboo toys . But he would have none of it . We would have to haul him up on the counter and let him play with the tap water and get in spoonfuls on the sly. And it was hell ! not to mention back breaking. And then I brought out the VCD - Ganesha . It worked wonders . He would sit on the floor at one place and actually let me feed him. He would wait with anticipation for meal times . Unlike earlier where all of us were rolling up sleeves ( including him !) for meal times .And he's learnt a lot from the smart cookie VCD as well. I've been doing itsy bitsy spider ever since he was 5 months old and it was good to see him do the hand movements on cue. But when the kids on the VCD did it, he totally got it and ran to identify every word he heard on the VCD - umbrealla, clock, bread. And I was thrilled because this meant it was not mindless viewing of cartoons or some TV serials that he watched with my in-laws. And I can safely say that the VCDs are here to stay.
And I'd like to know what all of you mothers out there think and do to melt meal time battles. And what you think of television watching ? I could look at statistics and expert opinions . But I want real opinions from real moms . And then I read this article
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Where all that went
Sure we talk
But sweet nothings and just silences
I wonder where that went
Talk is cheap
And yet , we don’t call
And I wonder if marriage
Is all bout a weekend trip to the mall
Groceries, meals and nothing more
We don’t talk anymore
I mean talk , talk
Not snatches in between television soaps
Or newspaper sheets
Or typing emails
We used to just be
You and Me
Now it’s just a painful silence
A deep gorge , a chasm
Unfathomable, deep ,dark
And I wonder
If we will ever cross it
Or let the winds of time
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
A 15-kg tornado is expected to pass through Pune between Apr 21 – 29. This is to warn all pune-ites ( and Mumbaites for an hour on Apr 21 ) to be prepared. Prevention is better than cure .
ETA around 5 PM on Apr 21 in Pune
4 AM –tight slap on Amma/Appa’s face ( whichever is not quick enuff ) followed by shrill shriek
6 AM – Jump off bed, land with thud and rush into kitchen like pants are on fire. Glass of milk is in order to douse the fire.
7 AM – Grape juice amid karate moves if necessary
8 AM – Breakfast Morning Show ( will buy you 45 minutes of peace )
9 AM - nap if needed. D doesn’t , we will
10 AM –
10.15 AM – drink water, elaborate prayers with panjapathram ( someone on standby with mop), eat a biscuit if he fancies
10.30 – 11.30 – climb sofa, whack all visible backsides with bat ( pls warn Indubai ) ,read/tear/eat books, bounce ball, pluck leaves, do jhadoo poncha
11.30 – 12.30 - Lunch show
1 PM – Milk followed by sleep ( hopefully )
3 PM – wake up and practice stunts/Tai Chi whatever he fancies
3.30 – 4 PM – Ragi – Evening show ( the same damn CD will begin to get on our nerves )
5 PM –
5.30 – 6.30 PM – Outside the house ( the most stressed out person gets to stay home and restore their tissues, ligaments and sanity)
7.30 PM – Park in front of TV for daily dose of spirituality ( Swamiyee Saranam Ayyappa on Vijay TV ) ( intermittent screeches when someone switches channels for cricket score. If you switch it back in 30 seconds, all’s fine. Else expect some heavy duty head banging on sofa handles or your leg )
8 PM – Dinner
8.30 – Brush teeth ( or have it brushed !!) , diaper up
9 PM – milk , water and sleep in that order
After this , all are free to watch TV if you still have the energy.
Precautions1) Some magic words for all affected parties are – lo-lo, moo-moo, mixie, washing machine, grinder. Of course, you have to be ready to follow up the words with some action . You can’t just say lo-lo and not have a lorry to point. That will earn you a whack on the ear
2) Let go off your TV and newspaper fixation. Repeat after me “It’s not important to watch TV or read paper. It’s more important to preserve your sanity”
3) Get down on your knees and no ! don’t start dusting the cobwebs under the fridge.Look at things from D’s viewpoint. Any shiny nuts, bolts, wheels,china, will attract his attention.
4) Chain all furniture to the wall . It’s been known that this tornado drags chairs to balconies to throw out stuff .
5) Dustbins offer the most educative experience as far as D is concerned. And I am sure he’s right as we are wont to find out if the dustbin overfloweth .
6) Last but not least, anyone causing banging doors, creaking hinges, loud latches during his nap/sleep will be responsible for reinstating the state of sleep. I am tempted to extend this to neighbour’s pressure cooker going off and horn-happy teenagers whizzing around on mobike …but I think there may be a law against me pushing my weight too far.So I will limit it to near and dear family
7) People inclined to sorting confidential and important paperwork frequently ( you know who !) may do so at their own risk. Also papers lying loose on table have a 0.9 probability of finding their way on the floor with accompanying tune of “Bits of paper lying on the floor”.
8) If all else fails, take a dozen aspirin and lie down. You may still not be able to sleep with 15 kgs jumping on your stomach. But it’s the placebo effect – you have done your bit. Baaki bhagwan ke haath mein hai ! Inshallah !
I am in a car with an acquaintance who happens to be a customer service person at a bank. So she's making calls and doing the humdrum I-am-super-busy-have-to-talk-while-I-Drive thing ( oh ! Did I mention she was driving ? Yeah , my life flashed before my eyes. Food for thought and another post ! ). She reels off credit card after credit card numbers and names to someone at the other end . So I think OK, maybe she's giving it to someone at her office to verify. And then she says " This is all I can give now . When you show me the money, I can do more". I just witnessed some poor guys information handed out to some over-zealous sales organization. She might as well have given his other information while she was at it .
And then again , there are those who will easily share their passwords with colleagues, friends and relatives. I know at least one person who shares his ATM PIN with his friends and colleagues and everyone and their uncle knows what his password anywhere would be ( it's not rocket science , this guy jumbles his birthdate around ).
The former , a breach of trust and privacy and the latter also is the same but it's self inflicted.
And it's also my journal into my life as a mom,wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, manager,team member etc.
And as I start my journey, I'd like to know what made some of you established bloggers get started. DOes it help you to vent ? Is it your journal? How do you handle sharing without giving up your privacy ?