OOOh ! I look like Jamie Lynn Spears . Or Priyanka Chopra !!! I love this.
So I upload bubbles photo and guess what ! - he looks like Britney Spears !! Spooky eh ? There's some credence to that face recognition stuff .
And I upload some more and apparently the MIL looks like Mikhail Gorbachev and/or Hugh Hefner . I am liking this !
Then again , at some point, I look like Mohandas Gandhi . I wouldn't mind some of his gandhigiri !
Monday, October 8, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Make babies not war !
Yay ! Taking up Mad Momma's tag because this is so fun !!!!
Wear out toddler by day : CheckToddler asleep at 8.30 : Check
Elders busy with saas-bahu serials : Check
Slip into something comfortable : Check
Stifle yawn and murmur something about being tired and sleepy:Check
Hubby dear follows suspiciously soon after : Check
Sneak into room and whoa ! What do you have ?
check ! Check !Check!
Nothing can be more risky and exciting than doing it with toddler asleep a few feet
away and adults watching TV just outside your door . And yeah ! the risk of your
nightclothes inside out in the morning ;-) Or possibly not creased at all ( who am
I kidding ?)
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Farewell
I can't go on anymore. I am in a mess . Is this what I waited for so long ?
I put aside my work , I took time off from my family and friends and just
devoted myself to you . Day and night . With nary a care for food or water.
My mother chided me saying I was childish and I told her off.
Everyone advised me to get away from you when I was pregnant saying you would affect the
unborn child with your diabolic thoughts. But I stuck with you because I was infatuated.
I saved every penny for you . Well-wishers rolled their eyes on my frivolity .
But I stuck with you .
And you do this to me. I don't know whether to go on or just stop and throw you out of my life. Are you going to die ? Are you going to finish what you started ? There's so much I want to ask but I just cant bear to go on. And I hate you for making me do the unbearable sin - of turning to the last page.
I turn on the lights and read "The scar hadn't burned for the last 19 years. All was well".
Bye Harry. Bye Neville and Snape.
PS - Bubbles has just got adjusted to a new playschool. I do hope they consider him for Hogwarts ! He'd be great at Quidditch with his love for the jhadoo.
I put aside my work , I took time off from my family and friends and just
devoted myself to you . Day and night . With nary a care for food or water.
My mother chided me saying I was childish and I told her off.
Everyone advised me to get away from you when I was pregnant saying you would affect the
unborn child with your diabolic thoughts. But I stuck with you because I was infatuated.
I saved every penny for you . Well-wishers rolled their eyes on my frivolity .
But I stuck with you .
And you do this to me. I don't know whether to go on or just stop and throw you out of my life. Are you going to die ? Are you going to finish what you started ? There's so much I want to ask but I just cant bear to go on. And I hate you for making me do the unbearable sin - of turning to the last page.
I turn on the lights and read "The scar hadn't burned for the last 19 years. All was well".
Bye Harry. Bye Neville and Snape.
PS - Bubbles has just got adjusted to a new playschool. I do hope they consider him for Hogwarts ! He'd be great at Quidditch with his love for the jhadoo.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Tie the knot ...........
........around your neck that is !
I am just back from a few hours of shopping with my friend and her 5-year old son. Among other things , we discussed weddings and our own marriages . And we're doing fine , thank you very much .
And we spoke about some of our friends and acquaintances who've not yet tied the knot or are untying the knot. And I was not shocked or surprised. And she was offended that I chose not to react with symapthy ( or actually not react at all ) . I mean I am all for weddings and marriages , but if two people have decided that it's not working , what's there to sympathize about . I like nice endings but there is no endings is there ? It's an ongoing process .
Leks , Vim and D are gorgeous women - all have fantastic jobs and travel a lot . All are in their mid-thirties and unmarried. And I almost feel guilty going to meet their mums ( in fact , I haven't the last two times because it's excruciating ). They will gush " Oh ! look , you have a baby. And my daughter is not even married . What kind of friend are you ?" The kind that minds her own business and does not try and setup her friends because frankly, I really haven't found anyone worth their while. ( Oops, once I thought of setting up my boss with one of them - but he married a much younger woman - damn !). In my heart , I do hope they find the man of their dreams soon enough . But not because I feel their lives are incomplete . Because I truly want them to know what love is . To share their lives with someone they care about . And because I don't want their lives to be like this.
Dips is a smart girl - educated, social and amazingly entrepreneurial at such a young age. She was married at 24 to a software engineer in the US ( where else !) . Within a year, she had an abortion at the behest of her husband saying the timing was not good . And when her in-laws found out, they had the marriage annulled because they feared she wouldn't conceive ever again. So she returned and smart that she is , she went on with her business and work. But social pressures got the better of her and her parents found another alliance for her. They got married under the condition that neither was to ask about the past. I didn't like it - I would rather they put the cards on the table and take it from there. In a few months , she found not only was he schizophrenic. And gem that she is , she told him she'd stand by him if he agreed to go for counselling and treatments . He refused saying he was not sick. And then he was gay !! And she was shocked - while she hadn't expected a trouble-free marriage, this was the last thing. And she pleaded with her mother " Amma, I am here in a strange house with a complete stranger and I am not welcome. Please say it's ok if I am not married . Can I just come back home and be your daughter ?"
And that's why , I am not in favour of people getting married just because it's time to do so ? Or just because Jagada maami across the street quizzed your mom why you were still at home unmarried ? She might as well tie a knot around her daughter's head and hang her. Because this is certainly not what she wanted for the baby girl she gave birth to . Just because she wants acceptance from society and doesn't care what her child goes through.
Dips is happy , at home in her mom's safe arms and that's the way it should be .
I am just back from a few hours of shopping with my friend and her 5-year old son. Among other things , we discussed weddings and our own marriages . And we're doing fine , thank you very much .
And we spoke about some of our friends and acquaintances who've not yet tied the knot or are untying the knot. And I was not shocked or surprised. And she was offended that I chose not to react with symapthy ( or actually not react at all ) . I mean I am all for weddings and marriages , but if two people have decided that it's not working , what's there to sympathize about . I like nice endings but there is no endings is there ? It's an ongoing process .
Leks , Vim and D are gorgeous women - all have fantastic jobs and travel a lot . All are in their mid-thirties and unmarried. And I almost feel guilty going to meet their mums ( in fact , I haven't the last two times because it's excruciating ). They will gush " Oh ! look , you have a baby. And my daughter is not even married . What kind of friend are you ?" The kind that minds her own business and does not try and setup her friends because frankly, I really haven't found anyone worth their while. ( Oops, once I thought of setting up my boss with one of them - but he married a much younger woman - damn !). In my heart , I do hope they find the man of their dreams soon enough . But not because I feel their lives are incomplete . Because I truly want them to know what love is . To share their lives with someone they care about . And because I don't want their lives to be like this.
Dips is a smart girl - educated, social and amazingly entrepreneurial at such a young age. She was married at 24 to a software engineer in the US ( where else !) . Within a year, she had an abortion at the behest of her husband saying the timing was not good . And when her in-laws found out, they had the marriage annulled because they feared she wouldn't conceive ever again. So she returned and smart that she is , she went on with her business and work. But social pressures got the better of her and her parents found another alliance for her. They got married under the condition that neither was to ask about the past. I didn't like it - I would rather they put the cards on the table and take it from there. In a few months , she found not only was he schizophrenic. And gem that she is , she told him she'd stand by him if he agreed to go for counselling and treatments . He refused saying he was not sick. And then he was gay !! And she was shocked - while she hadn't expected a trouble-free marriage, this was the last thing. And she pleaded with her mother " Amma, I am here in a strange house with a complete stranger and I am not welcome. Please say it's ok if I am not married . Can I just come back home and be your daughter ?"
And that's why , I am not in favour of people getting married just because it's time to do so ? Or just because Jagada maami across the street quizzed your mom why you were still at home unmarried ? She might as well tie a knot around her daughter's head and hang her. Because this is certainly not what she wanted for the baby girl she gave birth to . Just because she wants acceptance from society and doesn't care what her child goes through.
Dips is happy , at home in her mom's safe arms and that's the way it should be .
Friday, June 22, 2007
Speak the fcuk up !!!
What is it with women nowadays ? You have an education, you can go into space ,you can manage a team of 20 but but ....... you can't speak up against the damn eve teaser brushing against you . I witnessed the most annoying thing yesterday. Two women on a two-wheeler , obviously well educated and modern,are at a signal. Two more men , educated and modern bozzos for all appearances ,arrive on the scene. They laugh raucously and inch their bike inches away from the women. And one of them leans over and touches and I mean , touches one of the girls. She looks at him and cowers and leans away. And I am like WTF ?!!!
What is it , people , I ask ? What makes a woman take this kind of non-sense ? For what it's worth, I drove my car inches away from the bozzos bike and ran over his toes - yeah put me in jail if you like ( I am like that , I carry only pointed umbrellas in Mumbai locals , no foldable innocuous umbrellas for me , thank you ). And sent him scuttling away. But I see this reaction in women all the time.
Starting with my mum. My dad was in the Air Force and my mom decided we needed a stable life to get through out Std 10th and 12th - so mom and two of us sisters moved to Pune while dad was posted in Allahabad. Now my mom is educated , has an M.Sc in Mathematics and teaches in school. But she is also the most gullible and naive of all women I have met. So one day , one guy on the pretext of advertising a newspaper subscription came home and after the spiel , took our number and left. A few days later, we started getting crank calls with the usual heavy breathing and innuendo talk. My mom would jump at the sound of the phone ring and pick up the receiver and wouldn't let us pick any calls lest we hear the crap. But one day , she burst into tears and I knew something was wrong. So the next time the phone rang, I swatted her hand and took the call and heard the loser at the other end. And my mother weeped ," I don't want to be alone like this. Appa should be here". And my blood was boiling - "Why the hell can't we deal with this ?" and I was in the 11th std at that time. So I called what is now BSNL and asked them how we can deal with the crank call and if we can trace this call. The lady said no but I suggest you tell the perpretator next time he calls , that he's being traced. And I did just that . I said ," Keep talking , Mr Newspaper agency. I am having your call traced. Another 10 seconds , and I will have your number, you asshole". That's the last time we heard from him. Simple, no rocket science.
And I have hope when I see something like this. Walking down MG Road in Bangalore, bunch of loser college boys decided to brush against a couple of hip hipster clad women . But they were having none of it . One of the girls gave the brusher a nice one in the pants with her knee - yeah right there ! Ouch !!! The rest of the boys just stood there gaping like fish. Of course , it helped that other female shoppers of all sizes and shapes , aunties,munnis,pinkies,college girls showered the guy with handbags, umbrellas, sandals ( platforms , I must add !) and one project manager managed to kick him in the stomach for all the atrocities any man had ever done . For my mom, for the girls at the signal, for the BPO girl who was raped and killed , for heaven's sake - speak up !!!! Don't just stand there when you see something happening , do something , say something . For it is our modesty and sheer lack of guts that the losers count on.
What is it , people , I ask ? What makes a woman take this kind of non-sense ? For what it's worth, I drove my car inches away from the bozzos bike and ran over his toes - yeah put me in jail if you like ( I am like that , I carry only pointed umbrellas in Mumbai locals , no foldable innocuous umbrellas for me , thank you ). And sent him scuttling away. But I see this reaction in women all the time.
Starting with my mum. My dad was in the Air Force and my mom decided we needed a stable life to get through out Std 10th and 12th - so mom and two of us sisters moved to Pune while dad was posted in Allahabad. Now my mom is educated , has an M.Sc in Mathematics and teaches in school. But she is also the most gullible and naive of all women I have met. So one day , one guy on the pretext of advertising a newspaper subscription came home and after the spiel , took our number and left. A few days later, we started getting crank calls with the usual heavy breathing and innuendo talk. My mom would jump at the sound of the phone ring and pick up the receiver and wouldn't let us pick any calls lest we hear the crap. But one day , she burst into tears and I knew something was wrong. So the next time the phone rang, I swatted her hand and took the call and heard the loser at the other end. And my mother weeped ," I don't want to be alone like this. Appa should be here". And my blood was boiling - "Why the hell can't we deal with this ?" and I was in the 11th std at that time. So I called what is now BSNL and asked them how we can deal with the crank call and if we can trace this call. The lady said no but I suggest you tell the perpretator next time he calls , that he's being traced. And I did just that . I said ," Keep talking , Mr Newspaper agency. I am having your call traced. Another 10 seconds , and I will have your number, you asshole". That's the last time we heard from him. Simple, no rocket science.
And I have hope when I see something like this. Walking down MG Road in Bangalore, bunch of loser college boys decided to brush against a couple of hip hipster clad women . But they were having none of it . One of the girls gave the brusher a nice one in the pants with her knee - yeah right there ! Ouch !!! The rest of the boys just stood there gaping like fish. Of course , it helped that other female shoppers of all sizes and shapes , aunties,munnis,pinkies,college girls showered the guy with handbags, umbrellas, sandals ( platforms , I must add !) and one project manager managed to kick him in the stomach for all the atrocities any man had ever done . For my mom, for the girls at the signal, for the BPO girl who was raped and killed , for heaven's sake - speak up !!!! Don't just stand there when you see something happening , do something , say something . For it is our modesty and sheer lack of guts that the losers count on.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Playschool begins
Bubbles started on June 11. Bubble's papa and I took him to school and I drove the car since it would be me dropping him off and then going to office. He looked darn cute in his new red helicopter T-shirt and shorts and his "Cars" bag. Upon reaching the school , he bounded out of the car and went running in. We had to drag him back to get his shoes off as is the norm in the school. He looked a little suspicious of going into the playschool but they had set a nice lil slide in the courtyard and they had a fan and clock right there on the wall - yes, those three are his favorite things besides cars and wheels.
The door of the playschool closed and my baby was gone - into the depths of play , learning , socializing and whatever . I kept my eyes peeled every time the door opened slightly to take in a unwilling toddler or eject a fussy newcomer.But no sign of the imp. So finally I begged to be let in to see what he was doing. I couldn't find him anywhere on the ground floor where all the newcomers are bawling their lungs out in a closed room full of colorful, bright , hitherto ignored toys. My heart stopped beating for a second as I thought the worst. So I begged ( again !) to be let upstairs where the more settled toddlers were "moved up" . I peeped in , saw him sitting at a desk surrounded by some similar sized imps. Walked away knowing he was fine. And was called back the next instant - seems he saw me and that did it ! He started bawling - stupid me - now why would I rock the boat ?
Day two - enthusiastic drive to school, no parents allowed in ( the teacher told me yesterday one parent forced her way upstairs and made her baby upset . What an idiot ! How dumb could she be ?Yeah , tell me about it ... and I will wipe that grin off your face) . The ayah took him in to the learning room - closed room with AC. My baby howled , howled till he threw up. Poor baby ! Am I sending you too early to playschool ? But you seem to love going there nonetheless
Day 3 - I showed him the AC and fan in the playschool and he went in willingly. The last I saw he was bawling at the play-yard with the teacher and ayah trying to focus him on the slide , beach toys and other kids. My MIL is at the playschool to keep an eye on him and I drove to work - I do hope he settles. Later , she called me to say he was OK today - napped a little at school .
Here's to you , baby ! you seem to be settling better than some of the older kids .
Some points I want to make for mothers sending their babies to playschool first time :-
1) Get a bag , snack box and water bottle much before they start school and get them familiar with all of it.
2) Take them bag and all to the playschool ( when it's not functioning ) just to get them familiar with the routine minus all the chaos of thousand bawling babies.
3)Let them watch a Barney goes to school or one of those starting school CDs
4) Know your school routine and try to get your child familiar with story time, snack time etc.
5) Never ever barge into your child's class in the attempt to quell your fears . Ask the teacher to do it for you ( sheepish grin !)
6) Remember to let them handle your child - he needs to get familiar with strange surroundings and people. I had this bright idea that they should enter notes in my not-yet-speaking toddler's notepad about daily happenings . I had this brighter idea that they should blow bubbles in the play-yard . All kids like bubbles. But I have kept it to myself . After all , they are the one who've done this for much longer. But of course, it's not stopping me from telling them what to show my son to distract him or how to console him when he's upset.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Paradoxically yours
I am a hypochondriac ( I love looking up medical stuff ) but I hate going to the doctor ( and hate their guts when they roll their eyes and say "internet ?! ")
I loved the convenience of formula and cerelac but am always looking for ways to sneak veggies and fruits into my son's diet (he hates fruits and that is so not-me !)
I believe in god but hate going to temples and places of worship unless someone leans heavily onto me
I am a rational person but let my friend read my palm and he predicted I would know true love and have problems with childbirth ( and how ! ) . I have lost touch with Jamshed but wherever you are , Amen ! He also said I have a tendency for insanity - scary ! and humbling !!!
I diss all ritualistic forms of religiosity but I did a prayer at Nandalala temple when I was dealing with infertility ( and I cried buckets !!!). And I said a prayer 52 times , daily from that day until the 4th month of my pregnancy.
I insisted on the doctor doing an IUI even though she wanted just one more Clomid cycle. She knew I was doing the prayers and she didn't want to interfere ! ( Now she is a paradox , isn't she ?)
I hate jewellery but my son runs around in ( hold your breath ) earrings, bangles,payals,necklace and did I mention a arnakayaru ( yeah , you guessed it - I live with the ILs ). And don't worry, not any more - he's two years old and starts playschool so on the pretext of security, he's rid of all that.
I loved the convenience of formula and cerelac but am always looking for ways to sneak veggies and fruits into my son's diet (he hates fruits and that is so not-me !)
I believe in god but hate going to temples and places of worship unless someone leans heavily onto me
I am a rational person but let my friend read my palm and he predicted I would know true love and have problems with childbirth ( and how ! ) . I have lost touch with Jamshed but wherever you are , Amen ! He also said I have a tendency for insanity - scary ! and humbling !!!
I diss all ritualistic forms of religiosity but I did a prayer at Nandalala temple when I was dealing with infertility ( and I cried buckets !!!). And I said a prayer 52 times , daily from that day until the 4th month of my pregnancy.
I insisted on the doctor doing an IUI even though she wanted just one more Clomid cycle. She knew I was doing the prayers and she didn't want to interfere ! ( Now she is a paradox , isn't she ?)
I hate jewellery but my son runs around in ( hold your breath ) earrings, bangles,payals,necklace and did I mention a arnakayaru ( yeah , you guessed it - I live with the ILs ). And don't worry, not any more - he's two years old and starts playschool so on the pretext of security, he's rid of all that.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Bubbles starts school
Bubbles starts playschool on Monday. I get a tight knot in my throat as I say this becasue I feel partly happy, partly sad. Happy because the apple of my eyes has come a long way and this is his stepping stone to his future. Sad because my baby is no longer a baby - he's a toddler. A few days ago , I left him at the sand pit with the other kids and said " I am going to go and sit by the pool". The imp waved to me said "Ta-ta" , gave me a flying kiss and returned to building castles in the sand. I don't think he's going to feel separation anxiety - I am totally another story.
He's got a bag, new clothes, straw sippy and I am going to buy him a snack box with cars on it. I am planning to add a notepad to his bag and ask his teacher to write a few words everyday. You see, he's not totally talking yet . So I don't want to feel left out from his playschool hours since he can't tell me about it YET . And how will they know his name -should I pin a ID card with his name on it ? And he's not fully potty trained - he'll poop only in the pot but he doesn't tell us when he needs to pee. Shall I tell the teacher he needs to be taken to the toilet once an hour or so ? How about snack time - will someone keep an eye on him ? What if he chokes on the biscuit ? Shall I break the biscuits into pieces ? or better yet - send it soaked in juice or milk ?
OK , I will stop now as I am displaying signs of paranoia .
Best of luck , Bubbles. I know you will love the kids , the games and the teachers . I hope you have a good first day at school.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Anjali's Prateeksha
Anjali made it - she had a baby girl this morning at 3 AM . I have tears rolling down my cheeks as I write this. I am not going to try to phrase this right or do a spellcheck or check the grammar on this post coz I am just speaking my heart out.
She's been through treatments for 14 years . 10 IUIs and 2 IVFs later - she got pregnant. She's had a hard time throughout the pregnancy . Every time she bled a little, her heart, head everything was a mess . She thought the worst of it . But she made it . Heres' wishing her ( and her husband and family ) a happy happy life ahead with her baby miracle. I know she will make a good mother - patient and calm because of all the heartbreak and trouble she went through to become a mommy.
Anjali, I don't know you . You don't know me. I heard of you and about your struggles when I myself was going through all this . But I feel I know you because of the struggles that bind us . So here's wishing you a great life ahead and no looking back. Kudos to your bundle of joy - she's the most precious baby on earth today - for a family that waited 14 years, 10 IUI and 2 IVF for her . I don't know what you are going to call her but to me , she'll always be "Prateeksha" - a magic waiting to happen .
Anjali named her Anaya .
Perfect name for an answer to a zillion prayers of a family.
She's been through treatments for 14 years . 10 IUIs and 2 IVFs later - she got pregnant. She's had a hard time throughout the pregnancy . Every time she bled a little, her heart, head everything was a mess . She thought the worst of it . But she made it . Heres' wishing her ( and her husband and family ) a happy happy life ahead with her baby miracle. I know she will make a good mother - patient and calm because of all the heartbreak and trouble she went through to become a mommy.
Anjali, I don't know you . You don't know me. I heard of you and about your struggles when I myself was going through all this . But I feel I know you because of the struggles that bind us . So here's wishing you a great life ahead and no looking back. Kudos to your bundle of joy - she's the most precious baby on earth today - for a family that waited 14 years, 10 IUI and 2 IVF for her . I don't know what you are going to call her but to me , she'll always be "Prateeksha" - a magic waiting to happen .
Anjali named her Anaya .
Perfect name for an answer to a zillion prayers of a family.
Monday, June 4, 2007
the o-ah
This is my son on the o-ah ( bubblespeak for sofa ) .
he eats there
he plays there
he reads there
he brushes his teeth there
Now if someone can recommend a mommy gadget that can attach a potty and tub to the sofa, we're all set - everything we need in one piece of furniture. Man, is this one couch potato or what ?
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Bubbles-speak !!
Guess what they mean !
Imbo
Indoh
Laballa ( used to say Umbella --- regressing ... maybe !)
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar
Phaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
O-AH
Rodro
Moo-Moo
Lo-Lo
Thep
Thub ( now called Dabbah )
Theeeeee
Aaapti
Boop-f
Peam
Imbo
Indoh
Laballa ( used to say Umbella --- regressing ... maybe !)
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar
Phaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
O-AH
Rodro
Moo-Moo
Lo-Lo
Thep
Thub ( now called Dabbah )
Theeeeee
Aaapti
Boop-f
Peam
Monday, May 28, 2007
Greased pig drives woman mad
Oh baby when you whine like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body
And I'm on tonight
You know my lips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing
But you seem to have a plan
My will and self restraint
Have come to fail now, fail now
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know
That's a bit too hard to explain
( Apologies Shakira ! )
--------------------------------------
Bubble's papa , move over - there's a new boy in town and he's driving me crazy !! I get the greased pig in the bath and he wants the soap, oil and OMG , your shaving blade .Add to that my PMS and you have the perfect recipe for a tantrum - from Moi !!!
I am going to take an aspirin and lie down. Then again, I am headed to the office anyway !
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body
And I'm on tonight
You know my lips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing
But you seem to have a plan
My will and self restraint
Have come to fail now, fail now
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know
That's a bit too hard to explain
( Apologies Shakira ! )
--------------------------------------
Bubble's papa , move over - there's a new boy in town and he's driving me crazy !! I get the greased pig in the bath and he wants the soap, oil and OMG , your shaving blade .Add to that my PMS and you have the perfect recipe for a tantrum - from Moi !!!
I am going to take an aspirin and lie down. Then again, I am headed to the office anyway !
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Choices we make !
I recently came to know about choices two women made in similar situations . And it got me thinking what I would do faced with the same .
Situation 1 -
The cozy couple have a baby . The mother quits her teaching job and is at home with the child until she's 8 months old. They manage to find a distant male relative who's a widower and keen to come to their big city and take care of their child for a decent salary. They are thrilled because this man is almost like family and is great with kids as is vouched by the mother who's seen him when she was a wee baby. All is fine - the mother goes back to work , they have a great routine with the relative taking care of the baby.
And then one day , as the relative was heating and pouring water for the child's bath , the child crawled over and upset the whole bucket . Imagine a whole bucket of scalding hot water - the child had burns all over and had to be dipped in penicillin to avoid infections . The relative was besides himself as he had done the unthinkable and thwarted the trust they had put on him. By the time the parents were contacted and came home , it was well past 4 PM ( these were the times where mobiles were not heard of ) . The mother was besides herself and aghast . She decided that had she been there , it wouldn't have happened . So she put her foot down and told her husband she wouldn't be going back to work ever. And he can just find some way to run the house on his salary. And that's that !!!
The relative lived on with them for a few more months but the guilt never wore off. And he left for the village. I wish he could see the baby now - she's the most beautiful woman I know - flawless ebony skin, shiny black hair and the best tinkling laugh I ever heard - My cousin Anu .
Situation 2 -
The cozy couple have a child. Mother stays at home on extended maternity leave . Meanwhile, they find a lady from the village who's been with their family since she was young. She spends time training the lady to look after the baby boy - feeds, bath, changing nappies , the works. When she seems reasonably trained , she goes back to work .Things are working smoothly.
Then one day , she gets a call from the neighbour saying the child was crying endlessly and since the maid didn't seem to be doing anything about it , the neighbour had barged in with the spare key she had and found the maid had dozed off while watching TV and the child all of 9 months was in the next room hungry, wet and miserable. And when she went to kitchen for milk , she found that the milk had been watered down by the maid after she helped herself to some .
So the mother gets home to find a content sleeping baby with the neighbour, fires the maid and stays at home. But their financial situation doesn't allow her the luxury of staying at home. Yes, they could get the next meal on the table. But not send their son to a good school etc etc. So she finds a creche ( expensive ) run by an anglo-Indian and goes with that. She puts aside her religious beliefs ( they are conservative no-meat brahmins ) and decides her son is better off not learning any prejudices of a typical brahmin upbringing. Her only regret is the drinking habit of the man of house where the creche was run. She's faced with naysaying of the highest order with her SIL accusing her of being a money-minded bitch with no concern for her child .As the child grew, she continued to work and her husband went to the gulf for a few years. And the child went to the best boarding school in the state when he was in sixth standard.Went on to do his engineering and MBA . And got married to the most gorgeous woman on earth - beautiful, talented, I could on - for she is Moi !!!
So what do you think ? What would you do faced by this situation ? Both are similar - although a baby burnt is far more serious than a wet , hungry baby. But then again , maybe not .
Situation 1 -
The cozy couple have a baby . The mother quits her teaching job and is at home with the child until she's 8 months old. They manage to find a distant male relative who's a widower and keen to come to their big city and take care of their child for a decent salary. They are thrilled because this man is almost like family and is great with kids as is vouched by the mother who's seen him when she was a wee baby. All is fine - the mother goes back to work , they have a great routine with the relative taking care of the baby.
And then one day , as the relative was heating and pouring water for the child's bath , the child crawled over and upset the whole bucket . Imagine a whole bucket of scalding hot water - the child had burns all over and had to be dipped in penicillin to avoid infections . The relative was besides himself as he had done the unthinkable and thwarted the trust they had put on him. By the time the parents were contacted and came home , it was well past 4 PM ( these were the times where mobiles were not heard of ) . The mother was besides herself and aghast . She decided that had she been there , it wouldn't have happened . So she put her foot down and told her husband she wouldn't be going back to work ever. And he can just find some way to run the house on his salary. And that's that !!!
The relative lived on with them for a few more months but the guilt never wore off. And he left for the village. I wish he could see the baby now - she's the most beautiful woman I know - flawless ebony skin, shiny black hair and the best tinkling laugh I ever heard - My cousin Anu .
Situation 2 -
The cozy couple have a child. Mother stays at home on extended maternity leave . Meanwhile, they find a lady from the village who's been with their family since she was young. She spends time training the lady to look after the baby boy - feeds, bath, changing nappies , the works. When she seems reasonably trained , she goes back to work .Things are working smoothly.
Then one day , she gets a call from the neighbour saying the child was crying endlessly and since the maid didn't seem to be doing anything about it , the neighbour had barged in with the spare key she had and found the maid had dozed off while watching TV and the child all of 9 months was in the next room hungry, wet and miserable. And when she went to kitchen for milk , she found that the milk had been watered down by the maid after she helped herself to some .
So the mother gets home to find a content sleeping baby with the neighbour, fires the maid and stays at home. But their financial situation doesn't allow her the luxury of staying at home. Yes, they could get the next meal on the table. But not send their son to a good school etc etc. So she finds a creche ( expensive ) run by an anglo-Indian and goes with that. She puts aside her religious beliefs ( they are conservative no-meat brahmins ) and decides her son is better off not learning any prejudices of a typical brahmin upbringing. Her only regret is the drinking habit of the man of house where the creche was run. She's faced with naysaying of the highest order with her SIL accusing her of being a money-minded bitch with no concern for her child .As the child grew, she continued to work and her husband went to the gulf for a few years. And the child went to the best boarding school in the state when he was in sixth standard.Went on to do his engineering and MBA . And got married to the most gorgeous woman on earth - beautiful, talented, I could on - for she is Moi !!!
So what do you think ? What would you do faced by this situation ? Both are similar - although a baby burnt is far more serious than a wet , hungry baby. But then again , maybe not .
WWW Momming !!
I am a compulsive search engine user. From work problem where I dig out improbable solutions to seemingly impossible technical issues to finding the meaning of words hitherto unknown to me ( i didn't know what bespoke,segue meant till a few minutes ago ). And for the past 2 years , since I am a mother , I am using the great WWW to find things about child rearing and milestones and the like. Now I have to admit that I have never handled a baby before my son and didn't know that it took so much effort ( seriously , I look at my mom with newfound respect because everyone who came to visit my son between 1 and 4 months said , " You were a terror as a baby - no sleep , no eat and always throwing up ". I am sooo glad they said "as a baby" coz I sometimes think I am one now too - terror that is , not baby ). And I work in a mostly male-dominated office so I don't have a support system of peers in office to discuss this with. Thankfully , I live with my in-laws and they are around to help in the most trying times when my child is sick and I am ready to throw in the towel.
So I turn to the web - Indiaparenting saw me through my pregnancy ( Thanks to Archie there who helped quell my fears on IUI, progestrone, dealing with alarming oligohydramnios diagnosis at 36 weeks and Hetal - who's an absolute gem typing advice from rashes to feeds inspite of having two kids - Neerja and Samarth ) , ammas.com ( for some relationship advice ) and of course, the trusted webmd.com for coughs, colds and other nits of toddlerhood. And all the mommy bloggers out there - MadMomma, Boo,Moppet's Mom - who're literally my lifeline in the absence of a social life and circle of mommy friends. Thanks to all of you women from the bottom of my heart !!!
And so it came as a rude shock one sunday morning as I was telling my MIL about my son's ongoing sore throat that I had read online that stomach acidity and throwing up can cause a sore throat which will subside over time as the stomach settles. To which there was cold silence followed by a vicious "Yeseterday in the paper, I read how one woman killed her father by advicing the heart surgeon how to do the operation ".At which point , I lost it and screamed at her saying "Oh ! so what you read in the paper - which YOU know how to read - is correct . But what I read in the internet - which I know how to use and which YOU don't know even know how to use - is NOT !"And then I went on to remind her of the time when she was rubbing boiled rice and ghee on my FIL's spreading boils till I looked up the internet , found herpes/pox diagnosis and fixed an appointment with the doc and ascertained herpes and probably saved his eye nerves from getting infected. OK , I will stop now as this is not meant to be a MIL rant post ( I promise that I will post one though !)
So what do other women do ? I am sure stay-at-home moms do their bit of internet searching, blogging and networking . But where do you draw the line on letting the WWW guide you versus some good old-fashioned elder's advice ?
And on June 7 , I add:
My Father-in-law asked me to look up side-effects of a drug he's been prescribed by the doc . I asked him if he told the doc he was taking blood-thinning medicines for BP. He said it's in the file so he should have seen it . So I asserted - "But did you actually tell him ? I don't think doctors actually read the papers carefully". Anyway , I look it up - and wonder of wonders , you do have to be careful taking this drug with BP meds .
And thanks , appa, for having faith in asking me to look it up . I am redeemed !!!!
So I turn to the web - Indiaparenting saw me through my pregnancy ( Thanks to Archie there who helped quell my fears on IUI, progestrone, dealing with alarming oligohydramnios diagnosis at 36 weeks and Hetal - who's an absolute gem typing advice from rashes to feeds inspite of having two kids - Neerja and Samarth ) , ammas.com ( for some relationship advice ) and of course, the trusted webmd.com for coughs, colds and other nits of toddlerhood. And all the mommy bloggers out there - MadMomma, Boo,Moppet's Mom - who're literally my lifeline in the absence of a social life and circle of mommy friends. Thanks to all of you women from the bottom of my heart !!!
And so it came as a rude shock one sunday morning as I was telling my MIL about my son's ongoing sore throat that I had read online that stomach acidity and throwing up can cause a sore throat which will subside over time as the stomach settles. To which there was cold silence followed by a vicious "Yeseterday in the paper, I read how one woman killed her father by advicing the heart surgeon how to do the operation ".At which point , I lost it and screamed at her saying "Oh ! so what you read in the paper - which YOU know how to read - is correct . But what I read in the internet - which I know how to use and which YOU don't know even know how to use - is NOT !"And then I went on to remind her of the time when she was rubbing boiled rice and ghee on my FIL's spreading boils till I looked up the internet , found herpes/pox diagnosis and fixed an appointment with the doc and ascertained herpes and probably saved his eye nerves from getting infected. OK , I will stop now as this is not meant to be a MIL rant post ( I promise that I will post one though !)
So what do other women do ? I am sure stay-at-home moms do their bit of internet searching, blogging and networking . But where do you draw the line on letting the WWW guide you versus some good old-fashioned elder's advice ?
And on June 7 , I add:
My Father-in-law asked me to look up side-effects of a drug he's been prescribed by the doc . I asked him if he told the doc he was taking blood-thinning medicines for BP. He said it's in the file so he should have seen it . So I asserted - "But did you actually tell him ? I don't think doctors actually read the papers carefully". Anyway , I look it up - and wonder of wonders , you do have to be careful taking this drug with BP meds .
And thanks , appa, for having faith in asking me to look it up . I am redeemed !!!!
TV Zombie !
OK , I confess ! My son , all of two , does watch the television . Now wait , did I say commercial television ? Nah ! None of that (yet !) . But he needs to watch his precious VCD all the time specially during meals . Now I know that it's not a wholesome thing to do . But you know what, he eats well when he's watching Smart Cookie
Long time ago ( actually a few months ago when he 1 and half ) , he was fussing no end to eat stuff . I tried everything - made aloo parathas, gave him a spoon to eat himself , bought him some shiny new books , even let him handle some taboo toys . But he would have none of it . We would have to haul him up on the counter and let him play with the tap water and get in spoonfuls on the sly. And it was hell ! not to mention back breaking. And then I brought out the VCD - Ganesha . It worked wonders . He would sit on the floor at one place and actually let me feed him. He would wait with anticipation for meal times . Unlike earlier where all of us were rolling up sleeves ( including him !) for meal times .And he's learnt a lot from the smart cookie VCD as well. I've been doing itsy bitsy spider ever since he was 5 months old and it was good to see him do the hand movements on cue. But when the kids on the VCD did it, he totally got it and ran to identify every word he heard on the VCD - umbrealla, clock, bread. And I was thrilled because this meant it was not mindless viewing of cartoons or some TV serials that he watched with my in-laws. And I can safely say that the VCDs are here to stay.
And I'd like to know what all of you mothers out there think and do to melt meal time battles. And what you think of television watching ? I could look at statistics and expert opinions . But I want real opinions from real moms . And then I read this article
Long time ago ( actually a few months ago when he 1 and half ) , he was fussing no end to eat stuff . I tried everything - made aloo parathas, gave him a spoon to eat himself , bought him some shiny new books , even let him handle some taboo toys . But he would have none of it . We would have to haul him up on the counter and let him play with the tap water and get in spoonfuls on the sly. And it was hell ! not to mention back breaking. And then I brought out the VCD - Ganesha . It worked wonders . He would sit on the floor at one place and actually let me feed him. He would wait with anticipation for meal times . Unlike earlier where all of us were rolling up sleeves ( including him !) for meal times .And he's learnt a lot from the smart cookie VCD as well. I've been doing itsy bitsy spider ever since he was 5 months old and it was good to see him do the hand movements on cue. But when the kids on the VCD did it, he totally got it and ran to identify every word he heard on the VCD - umbrealla, clock, bread. And I was thrilled because this meant it was not mindless viewing of cartoons or some TV serials that he watched with my in-laws. And I can safely say that the VCDs are here to stay.
And I'd like to know what all of you mothers out there think and do to melt meal time battles. And what you think of television watching ? I could look at statistics and expert opinions . But I want real opinions from real moms . And then I read this article
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Crossing the Chasm
I wonder
Where all that went
Sure we talk
Bills, schedules,laundry,dishes
But sweet nothings and just silences
I wonder where that went
Talk is cheap
And yet , we don’t call
And I wonder if marriage
Is all bout a weekend trip to the mall
Groceries, meals and nothing more
We don’t talk anymore
I mean talk , talk
Not snatches in between television soaps
Or newspaper sheets
Or typing emails
We used to just be
You and Me
Now it’s just a painful silence
A deep gorge , a chasm
Unfathomable, deep ,dark
And I wonder
If we will ever cross it
Or let the winds of time
Widen endlessly
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Tornado warning in Pune - albeit late !
Abstract
2) Let go off your TV and newspaper fixation. Repeat after me “It’s not important to watch TV or read paper. It’s more important to preserve your sanity”
3) Get down on your knees and no ! don’t start dusting the cobwebs under the fridge.Look at things from D’s viewpoint. Any shiny nuts, bolts, wheels,china, will attract his attention.
4) Chain all furniture to the wall . It’s been known that this tornado drags chairs to balconies to throw out stuff .
5) Dustbins offer the most educative experience as far as D is concerned. And I am sure he’s right as we are wont to find out if the dustbin overfloweth .
6) Last but not least, anyone causing banging doors, creaking hinges, loud latches during his nap/sleep will be responsible for reinstating the state of sleep. I am tempted to extend this to neighbour’s pressure cooker going off and horn-happy teenagers whizzing around on mobike …but I think there may be a law against me pushing my weight too far.So I will limit it to near and dear family
7) People inclined to sorting confidential and important paperwork frequently ( you know who !) may do so at their own risk. Also papers lying loose on table have a 0.9 probability of finding their way on the floor with accompanying tune of “Bits of paper lying on the floor”.
8) If all else fails, take a dozen aspirin and lie down. You may still not be able to sleep with 15 kgs jumping on your stomach. But it’s the placebo effect – you have done your bit. Baaki bhagwan ke haath mein hai ! Inshallah !
A 15-kg tornado is expected to pass through Pune between Apr 21 – 29. This is to warn all pune-ites ( and Mumbaites for an hour on Apr 21 ) to be prepared. Prevention is better than cure .
Itinerary
ETA around 5 PM on Apr 21 in Pune
Manifestations
4 AM –tight slap on Amma/Appa’s face ( whichever is not quick enuff ) followed by shrill shriek
6 AM – Jump off bed, land with thud and rush into kitchen like pants are on fire. Glass of milk is in order to douse the fire.
7 AM – Grape juice amid karate moves if necessary
8 AM – Breakfast Morning Show ( will buy you 45 minutes of peace )
9 AM - nap if needed. D doesn’t , we will
10 AM –
10.15 AM – drink water, elaborate prayers with panjapathram ( someone on standby with mop), eat a biscuit if he fancies
10.30 – 11.30 – climb sofa, whack all visible backsides with bat ( pls warn Indubai ) ,read/tear/eat books, bounce ball, pluck leaves, do jhadoo poncha
11.30 – 12.30 - Lunch show
1 PM – Milk followed by sleep ( hopefully )
3 PM – wake up and practice stunts/Tai Chi whatever he fancies
3.30 – 4 PM – Ragi – Evening show ( the same damn CD will begin to get on our nerves )
5 PM –
5.30 – 6.30 PM – Outside the house ( the most stressed out person gets to stay home and restore their tissues, ligaments and sanity)
7.30 PM – Park in front of TV for daily dose of spirituality ( Swamiyee Saranam Ayyappa on Vijay TV ) ( intermittent screeches when someone switches channels for cricket score. If you switch it back in 30 seconds, all’s fine. Else expect some heavy duty head banging on sofa handles or your leg )
8 PM – Dinner
8.30 – Brush teeth ( or have it brushed !!) , diaper up
9 PM – milk , water and sleep in that order
After this , all are free to watch TV if you still have the energy.
Precautions
2) Let go off your TV and newspaper fixation. Repeat after me “It’s not important to watch TV or read paper. It’s more important to preserve your sanity”
3) Get down on your knees and no ! don’t start dusting the cobwebs under the fridge.Look at things from D’s viewpoint. Any shiny nuts, bolts, wheels,china, will attract his attention.
4) Chain all furniture to the wall . It’s been known that this tornado drags chairs to balconies to throw out stuff .
5) Dustbins offer the most educative experience as far as D is concerned. And I am sure he’s right as we are wont to find out if the dustbin overfloweth .
6) Last but not least, anyone causing banging doors, creaking hinges, loud latches during his nap/sleep will be responsible for reinstating the state of sleep. I am tempted to extend this to neighbour’s pressure cooker going off and horn-happy teenagers whizzing around on mobike …but I think there may be a law against me pushing my weight too far.So I will limit it to near and dear family
7) People inclined to sorting confidential and important paperwork frequently ( you know who !) may do so at their own risk. Also papers lying loose on table have a 0.9 probability of finding their way on the floor with accompanying tune of “Bits of paper lying on the floor”.
8) If all else fails, take a dozen aspirin and lie down. You may still not be able to sleep with 15 kgs jumping on your stomach. But it’s the placebo effect – you have done your bit. Baaki bhagwan ke haath mein hai ! Inshallah !
PS
Breach of Privacy
I don't know about you - but I hold my privacy dear and guard it with vicious posessiveness . So it comes as a whack in the face when someone betrays it. And move this to a wider circle like your credit card, your medical history and you have the perfect recipe for identity theft or am I being paranoid here ?
I am in a car with an acquaintance who happens to be a customer service person at a bank. So she's making calls and doing the humdrum I-am-super-busy-have-to-talk-while-I-Drive thing ( oh ! Did I mention she was driving ? Yeah , my life flashed before my eyes. Food for thought and another post ! ). She reels off credit card after credit card numbers and names to someone at the other end . So I think OK, maybe she's giving it to someone at her office to verify. And then she says " This is all I can give now . When you show me the money, I can do more". I just witnessed some poor guys information handed out to some over-zealous sales organization. She might as well have given his other information while she was at it .
And then again , there are those who will easily share their passwords with colleagues, friends and relatives. I know at least one person who shares his ATM PIN with his friends and colleagues and everyone and their uncle knows what his password anywhere would be ( it's not rocket science , this guy jumbles his birthdate around ).
The former , a breach of trust and privacy and the latter also is the same but it's self inflicted.
I am in a car with an acquaintance who happens to be a customer service person at a bank. So she's making calls and doing the humdrum I-am-super-busy-have-to-talk-while-I-Drive thing ( oh ! Did I mention she was driving ? Yeah , my life flashed before my eyes. Food for thought and another post ! ). She reels off credit card after credit card numbers and names to someone at the other end . So I think OK, maybe she's giving it to someone at her office to verify. And then she says " This is all I can give now . When you show me the money, I can do more". I just witnessed some poor guys information handed out to some over-zealous sales organization. She might as well have given his other information while she was at it .
And then again , there are those who will easily share their passwords with colleagues, friends and relatives. I know at least one person who shares his ATM PIN with his friends and colleagues and everyone and their uncle knows what his password anywhere would be ( it's not rocket science , this guy jumbles his birthdate around ).
The former , a breach of trust and privacy and the latter also is the same but it's self inflicted.
Testing the waters !!!!
Here I am - my first post as a blogger . For what it's worth, I am doing this as a journal and hopefully , I can look back some day and reflect on my thoughts on various issues that cross my mind. It's surreal that we choose to share our thoughts with strangers on the World Wide Web behind the cloak of annonymity whereas we may never express some of our more controversial opinions ( mine are on religion, abortion, hindu customs and beliefs ,motherhood , modern choices, playschools,working moms ) beyond our own grey cells . So in a way , it's cathartic , a place to rant I guess ( and hopefully , save my near and dear the rants ) !!!
And it's also my journal into my life as a mom,wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, manager,team member etc.
And as I start my journey, I'd like to know what made some of you established bloggers get started. DOes it help you to vent ? Is it your journal? How do you handle sharing without giving up your privacy ?
And it's also my journal into my life as a mom,wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, manager,team member etc.
And as I start my journey, I'd like to know what made some of you established bloggers get started. DOes it help you to vent ? Is it your journal? How do you handle sharing without giving up your privacy ?
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